Saturday, March 22, 2008

My Run-In With The Horseradish Gestapo: A Nevin Barich Blog Experience

Like any man, I enjoy a good piece of meat every now and again.

OK, who am I kidding? I love meat. I'm obsessed with meat. Burgers, hot dogs, steak, pork chops. I'm a meat eater, people. Bacon is like a second language to me. If I ever have to go on a diet again, I'll do Atkins so that I can make Italian sausage smothered with cheese and declare, "I'm eating healthy!!"

With that in mind, I recently ventured over to the Outdoor Grill in Northridge, a barbecue "not quite fast food but not quite restaurant" place that is pretty good. Once there, I looked at the menu and decided to get some prime rib.

Now here's a "Nevin fact" you might not be aware of: I hate horseradish. I've never liked the taste. Even if mixed with something like sour cream, it just doesn't do it for me.

Horseradish, though, is a common condiment among the prime rib crowd. Thus, when I told the guy behind the counter, "No horseradish"...

...the guy went psycho.

I mean, he gave me this look that literally made me take a half-step back. You would have thought I had worn a Nazi uniform into Israel. You would have guessed that had I screamed "VOTE FOR HILLARY!!!" during a union oilworker rally in Texas.

The dude looked at me with these laser eyes...

"You must have horseradish," he says.

You must, people. Not horseradish makes it better or are you sure? It's really good!!

You must.

Needless to say, I wouldn't give up without a fight.

"I don't want horseradish," I said.

"You must," the man replied.

"But I don't like horseradish."

"It brings out the flavor."



I stared.

He stared.

I don't like to be bullied.

He wouldn't back down.

Irresistable force.

Immovable object.

Who would win?

Luckily, my superior intellect prevailed.

"It's that good?" I asked the guy.

"It's the best," he replied.

"OK then."

I took the horseradish.

The guy smiled.

He turned away...

...and I threw the horseradish in the trash.





The moral of the story?

Next time, offer me au jus.

And then...we won't have a problem.

And now for this week's:


Longtime NFL quarterback and future Hall of Famer Brett Favre retired.


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