So a few days back, I swung by AM-PM for a really quick lunch...
(by the way, the food at AM-PM, in my opinion, is food that only a guy can appreciate. A chicken sandwich under a heat lamp for hours on end, topped up with put-it-on-yourself pickles and mayo that squirts from a tub. Now that's good eatin', kids.)
Anyways, while grabbing my chicken sandwich, I heard the following conversation between a guy at the "pickles and mayo topping bar" and the woman behind the counter:
Man: Do you have spoons?
Woman: What?
Man: Spoons.
Woman: Moons?
Man: Spoons.
Woman: Toons?
Man: Spoons!!
Woman: Goons?
Man: SPOONS!!
(This guy literally shouted, folks.)
Woman: Oh, spoons!!
Man: Yes!!
Woman: No.
The man said nothing.
Then his shoulders slumped.
Amazing.
At this point, I was at the "pickles and mayo topping bar" for my sandwich. The man then turned to me:
Man: Why would she think I asked for moons?
An excellent question.
The answer to which...we may never know.
----------------------------------
Hey, guess what? I'm trying to make a living writing blogs about the dumb things of everyday life. How am I doing this? With the help of the folks at iBizTraining.com, an online training resource that shows you how to run your own online business (Online Training, Online Business. My God, it fits!!). Find out more at www.iBiztraining.com
The best sportswriters in the world are women (I have always said this). And the best in the world is none other than my girlfriend Ramona Shelburne, sports columnist for the Los Angeles Daily News. Read more about her at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ramona_Shelburne
There's a high standard in today's fashion world. And no one meets that standard better than Spooles, which provides customers with high-quality purses and other accessories that are both affordable and trendy. Get trendy!! Go to www.spooles.com
There's a cowgirl inside every woman: Elusive, passionate, untamed (I wrote that myself!!). Elusive Cowgirl caters to the free spirit within you, priding themselves on a special line of high-quality products unique on its own yet tailored to fit your everyday style. Find your inner cowgirl: Visit www.elusivecowgirl.com
The laziest man in Earth…is blogging about it. Go to www.lazyhank.com and find out more.
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Curly Hair vs. Straight Hair: A Nevin Barich Blog Experience
So the other day, I came across a story saying that, according to a recent study, curly hair gets less tangled than straight hair.
Now let us pause.
Think about this for a minute. According to a recent study, curly hair gets less tangled than straight hair. I mean, time was actually spent on this!! People were interviewed, research was done, money was no doubt spent. Curly hair gets less tangled than straight hair.
Who cares?!?
I mean, seriously, this is an important issue? This is going to change the lives of thousands of people? Are curly-haired people going to rejoice in the streets and shout, "WE WON!!" ??? Are straight-haired people going to cry on each other's shoulders and lament, "NOW WE'RE THE ONES WITH THE MORE TANGLED HAIR!!!" ???
Studies need to be conducted for more important issues. Global warming, the falling real estate market, gas prices; something that truly affects us.
But don't waste time on hair!! I mean, it's just hair. Hair, in the grand scheme of things, just isn't that important.
BTW: This week, I'm getting my sides shaved. I get it done every two weeks.
And every eight weeks, I get the top of my hair cut to prevent it from curling so much.
OK, my hair is important.
---------------------------------
Hey, guess what? I'm trying to make a living writing blogs about the dumb things of everyday life. How am I doing this? With the help of the folks at iBizTraining.com, an online training resource that shows you how to run your own online business (Online Training, Online Business. My God, it fits!!). Find out more at www.iBiztraining.com
The best sportswriters in the world are women (I have always said this). And the best in the world is none other than my girlfriend Ramona Shelburne, sports columnist for the Los Angeles Daily News. Read more about her at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ramona_Shelburne
There's a high standard in today's fashion world. And no one meets that standard better than Spooles, which provides customers with high-quality purses and other accessories that are both affordable and trendy. Get trendy!! Go to www.spooles.com
There's a cowgirl inside every woman: Elusive, passionate, untamed (I wrote that myself!!). Elusive Cowgirl caters to the free spirit within you, priding themselves on a special line of high-quality products unique on its own yet tailored to fit your everyday style. Find your inner cowgirl: Visit www.elusivecowgirl.com
The laziest man in Earth…is blogging about it. Go to www.lazyhank.com and find out more.
Now let us pause.
Think about this for a minute. According to a recent study, curly hair gets less tangled than straight hair. I mean, time was actually spent on this!! People were interviewed, research was done, money was no doubt spent. Curly hair gets less tangled than straight hair.
Who cares?!?
I mean, seriously, this is an important issue? This is going to change the lives of thousands of people? Are curly-haired people going to rejoice in the streets and shout, "WE WON!!" ??? Are straight-haired people going to cry on each other's shoulders and lament, "NOW WE'RE THE ONES WITH THE MORE TANGLED HAIR!!!" ???
Studies need to be conducted for more important issues. Global warming, the falling real estate market, gas prices; something that truly affects us.
But don't waste time on hair!! I mean, it's just hair. Hair, in the grand scheme of things, just isn't that important.
BTW: This week, I'm getting my sides shaved. I get it done every two weeks.
And every eight weeks, I get the top of my hair cut to prevent it from curling so much.
OK, my hair is important.
---------------------------------
Hey, guess what? I'm trying to make a living writing blogs about the dumb things of everyday life. How am I doing this? With the help of the folks at iBizTraining.com, an online training resource that shows you how to run your own online business (Online Training, Online Business. My God, it fits!!). Find out more at www.iBiztraining.com
The best sportswriters in the world are women (I have always said this). And the best in the world is none other than my girlfriend Ramona Shelburne, sports columnist for the Los Angeles Daily News. Read more about her at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ramona_Shelburne
There's a high standard in today's fashion world. And no one meets that standard better than Spooles, which provides customers with high-quality purses and other accessories that are both affordable and trendy. Get trendy!! Go to www.spooles.com
There's a cowgirl inside every woman: Elusive, passionate, untamed (I wrote that myself!!). Elusive Cowgirl caters to the free spirit within you, priding themselves on a special line of high-quality products unique on its own yet tailored to fit your everyday style. Find your inner cowgirl: Visit www.elusivecowgirl.com
The laziest man in Earth…is blogging about it. Go to www.lazyhank.com and find out more.
Reliving My Newspaper Past: A Nevin Barich Blog Experience
For those of you who don't know, back in the day -- before iPods and Tivo and when there was only one version of the Playstation -- I was a sportswriter; and a pretty damn good one, I might add.
Though I started pursuing other career interests in mid-2003 (because I decided that I actually wanted to have a life), I still worked at the L.A. Daily News on Friday nights during the high school football season; making easy money in the office, working on the desk I used to run.
The other night, two incidents occurred that reminded me of exactly why I left newspapers:
--------------------------------------
On high school football nights, pizza is often brought in for the sports staff. When the food arrived on this night, I opened up one box, which revealed a pizza covered in jalepenos.
"Who the fuck orders jalepenos on a pizza?" I asked.
(Writer's Note: You're allowed to say "fuck" in the newspaper business. In fact, it's practically a rule).
To which a fat sportswriter, who has been in the business for about 45 years and has absolutely no life whatsoever and is actually the embodiment of roughly 97 percent of male sportswriters today, rumbled over.
"I do!!" he declared, taking a slice of the jalapeno-laced concoction and wolfing 3/4 of it down in one bite. "Only real mean can handle the intensity."
And then he flexed.
Now, I for one have flexed my bicep a time or two (particularly my right one, which is decently developed). But the thing with this guy was that he was pushing 320 pounds and doesn't have a muscle to speak of. So when he "flexed," the lower part of his arm kind of hung down, like it was playdo that had been left out in the sun.
"Are you a real man?" the sportswriter asked.
I took one look at his sagging arm, and a gander at his prodigious gut.
"Nope," I replied, handing him the rest of the jalapeno pizza. "It's all yours."
-------------------------------------
Now even if you're not a sports fan, I'm sure all of you can understand that when covering a football game, the most basic piece of information needed is the final score. I mean...people want to know who won and lost. It's kind of the point of being at the event.
I've worked with some dumb fucks in my day, let me tell you, but even they knew, without being asked, that they had to get us the final tally.
On this night, however...
well, read the following (note: I was taking the guy's dictation of his story):
Nev: OK bud, what was the final score?
Writer: Oh, I don't know.
(pause)
Nev: What do you mean you don't know?
Writer: Well, no one told me I was supposed to get the final score.
(pause)
Nev: Dude, getting the final score is like....assumed. How can you write a story without knowing who won?
(no response)
Nev: Hello?
Writer: Um yeah....I'm calling in my story.
Nev: I KNOW YOU'RE CALLING IN YOUR STORY!!!! BUT I NEED TO KNOW THE FUCKIN' FINAL SCORE!!!!!
Writer: Oh, I don't know. No one told me to get it.
(pause, followed by a long sigh)
Nev: OK, are you still at the game?
Writer: Yeah.
Nev: Can you ask somebody the final score?
Writer: Um...yeah.
(pause)
Nev: Can you ask them...right now?
Writer: Oh....now?
Nev: Yes...now.
Writer: OK, hold on.
(pause)
Writer: Hello?
Nev: Yeah.
Writer: It was 14-13.
Nev: Who won?
(pause)
Writer: Um...I don't know. Was I supposed to ask that too?
And people wonder why newspapers are dying.
----------------------------------
Hey, guess what? I'm trying to make a living writing blogs about the dumb things of everyday life. How am I doing this? With the help of the folks at iBizTraining.com, an online training resource that shows you how to run your own online business (Online Training, Online Business. My God, it fits!!). Find out more at www.iBiztraining.com
The best sportswriters in the world are women (I have always said this). And the best in the world is none other than my girlfriend Ramona Shelburne, sports columnist for the Los Angeles Daily News. Read more about her at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ramona_Shelburne
There's a high standard in today's fashion world. And no one meets that standard better than Spooles, which provides customers with high-quality purses and other accessories that are both affordable and trendy. Get trendy!! Go to www.spooles.com
There's a cowgirl inside every woman: Elusive, passionate, untamed (I wrote that myself!!). Elusive Cowgirl caters to the free spirit within you, priding themselves on a special line of high-quality products unique on its own yet tailored to fit your everyday style. Find your inner cowgirl: Visit www.elusivecowgirl.com
The laziest man in Earth…is blogging about it. Go to www.lazyhank.com and find out more.
Though I started pursuing other career interests in mid-2003 (because I decided that I actually wanted to have a life), I still worked at the L.A. Daily News on Friday nights during the high school football season; making easy money in the office, working on the desk I used to run.
The other night, two incidents occurred that reminded me of exactly why I left newspapers:
--------------------------------------
On high school football nights, pizza is often brought in for the sports staff. When the food arrived on this night, I opened up one box, which revealed a pizza covered in jalepenos.
"Who the fuck orders jalepenos on a pizza?" I asked.
(Writer's Note: You're allowed to say "fuck" in the newspaper business. In fact, it's practically a rule).
To which a fat sportswriter, who has been in the business for about 45 years and has absolutely no life whatsoever and is actually the embodiment of roughly 97 percent of male sportswriters today, rumbled over.
"I do!!" he declared, taking a slice of the jalapeno-laced concoction and wolfing 3/4 of it down in one bite. "Only real mean can handle the intensity."
And then he flexed.
Now, I for one have flexed my bicep a time or two (particularly my right one, which is decently developed). But the thing with this guy was that he was pushing 320 pounds and doesn't have a muscle to speak of. So when he "flexed," the lower part of his arm kind of hung down, like it was playdo that had been left out in the sun.
"Are you a real man?" the sportswriter asked.
I took one look at his sagging arm, and a gander at his prodigious gut.
"Nope," I replied, handing him the rest of the jalapeno pizza. "It's all yours."
-------------------------------------
Now even if you're not a sports fan, I'm sure all of you can understand that when covering a football game, the most basic piece of information needed is the final score. I mean...people want to know who won and lost. It's kind of the point of being at the event.
I've worked with some dumb fucks in my day, let me tell you, but even they knew, without being asked, that they had to get us the final tally.
On this night, however...
well, read the following (note: I was taking the guy's dictation of his story):
Nev: OK bud, what was the final score?
Writer: Oh, I don't know.
(pause)
Nev: What do you mean you don't know?
Writer: Well, no one told me I was supposed to get the final score.
(pause)
Nev: Dude, getting the final score is like....assumed. How can you write a story without knowing who won?
(no response)
Nev: Hello?
Writer: Um yeah....I'm calling in my story.
Nev: I KNOW YOU'RE CALLING IN YOUR STORY!!!! BUT I NEED TO KNOW THE FUCKIN' FINAL SCORE!!!!!
Writer: Oh, I don't know. No one told me to get it.
(pause, followed by a long sigh)
Nev: OK, are you still at the game?
Writer: Yeah.
Nev: Can you ask somebody the final score?
Writer: Um...yeah.
(pause)
Nev: Can you ask them...right now?
Writer: Oh....now?
Nev: Yes...now.
Writer: OK, hold on.
(pause)
Writer: Hello?
Nev: Yeah.
Writer: It was 14-13.
Nev: Who won?
(pause)
Writer: Um...I don't know. Was I supposed to ask that too?
And people wonder why newspapers are dying.
----------------------------------
Hey, guess what? I'm trying to make a living writing blogs about the dumb things of everyday life. How am I doing this? With the help of the folks at iBizTraining.com, an online training resource that shows you how to run your own online business (Online Training, Online Business. My God, it fits!!). Find out more at www.iBiztraining.com
The best sportswriters in the world are women (I have always said this). And the best in the world is none other than my girlfriend Ramona Shelburne, sports columnist for the Los Angeles Daily News. Read more about her at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ramona_Shelburne
There's a high standard in today's fashion world. And no one meets that standard better than Spooles, which provides customers with high-quality purses and other accessories that are both affordable and trendy. Get trendy!! Go to www.spooles.com
There's a cowgirl inside every woman: Elusive, passionate, untamed (I wrote that myself!!). Elusive Cowgirl caters to the free spirit within you, priding themselves on a special line of high-quality products unique on its own yet tailored to fit your everyday style. Find your inner cowgirl: Visit www.elusivecowgirl.com
The laziest man in Earth…is blogging about it. Go to www.lazyhank.com and find out more.
A Need For a New-Sized Drink: A Nevin Barich Blog Experience
What is the deal with medium and large drinks?
The following is an issue that I know many of us have dealt with:
So at the movies not too long ago, I got a medium diet drink.
Now, the reason why I got a medium drink is because whenever I get the large drink at the movies, I don't come close to finishing it.
That said, 2/3 of the way through the movie, I finished my drink.
That means I spent the last third of the movie drinkless.
So let's review:
If I get a large movie theater soda, I can't finish it.
But if I get a medium, I run out well before the movie ends.
What the &%$@%?
So after coming home from the movies, this stupid quandry of the drink industry made me stay up half the night figuring out how we as a society can fix this problem.
Finally, about 4:30 a.m., I found the answer:
The largium.
Bigger than a medium. Smaller than a large.
The largium.
Adding another choice for American's drinking public.
And don't worry, Starbucks addicts, for I've already figured out an alternative name for "largium" when going to Starbucks:
The graventi.
Larger than a grande, smaller than a venti.
Graventi.
(iced lattes now on sales for $19, plus tax).
--------------------------------------------------
Hey, guess what? I'm trying to make a living writing blogs about the dumb things of everyday life. How am I doing this? With the help of the folks at iBizTraining.com, an online training resource that shows you how to run your own online business (Online Training, Online Business. My God, it fits!!). Find out more at www.iBiztraining.com
The best sportswriters in the world are women (I have always said this). And the best in the world is none other than my girlfriend Ramona Shelburne, sports columnist for the Los Angeles Daily News. Read more about her at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ramona_Shelburne
There's a high standard in today's fashion world. And no one meets that standard better than Spooles, which provides customers with high-quality purses and other accessories that are both affordable and trendy. Get trendy!! Go to www.spooles.com
There's a cowgirl inside every woman: Elusive, passionate, untamed (I wrote that myself!!). Elusive Cowgirl caters to the free spirit within you, priding themselves on a special line of high-quality products unique on its own yet tailored to fit your everyday style. Find your inner cowgirl: Visit www.elusivecowgirl.com
The laziest man in Earth…is blogging about it. Go to www.lazyhank.com and find out more.
The following is an issue that I know many of us have dealt with:
So at the movies not too long ago, I got a medium diet drink.
Now, the reason why I got a medium drink is because whenever I get the large drink at the movies, I don't come close to finishing it.
That said, 2/3 of the way through the movie, I finished my drink.
That means I spent the last third of the movie drinkless.
So let's review:
If I get a large movie theater soda, I can't finish it.
But if I get a medium, I run out well before the movie ends.
What the &%$@%?
So after coming home from the movies, this stupid quandry of the drink industry made me stay up half the night figuring out how we as a society can fix this problem.
Finally, about 4:30 a.m., I found the answer:
The largium.
Bigger than a medium. Smaller than a large.
The largium.
Adding another choice for American's drinking public.
And don't worry, Starbucks addicts, for I've already figured out an alternative name for "largium" when going to Starbucks:
The graventi.
Larger than a grande, smaller than a venti.
Graventi.
(iced lattes now on sales for $19, plus tax).
--------------------------------------------------
Hey, guess what? I'm trying to make a living writing blogs about the dumb things of everyday life. How am I doing this? With the help of the folks at iBizTraining.com, an online training resource that shows you how to run your own online business (Online Training, Online Business. My God, it fits!!). Find out more at www.iBiztraining.com
The best sportswriters in the world are women (I have always said this). And the best in the world is none other than my girlfriend Ramona Shelburne, sports columnist for the Los Angeles Daily News. Read more about her at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ramona_Shelburne
There's a high standard in today's fashion world. And no one meets that standard better than Spooles, which provides customers with high-quality purses and other accessories that are both affordable and trendy. Get trendy!! Go to www.spooles.com
There's a cowgirl inside every woman: Elusive, passionate, untamed (I wrote that myself!!). Elusive Cowgirl caters to the free spirit within you, priding themselves on a special line of high-quality products unique on its own yet tailored to fit your everyday style. Find your inner cowgirl: Visit www.elusivecowgirl.com
The laziest man in Earth…is blogging about it. Go to www.lazyhank.com and find out more.
Using a Recruiter To Find A Job: A Nevin Barich Blog Experience
Friday, November 02, 2007
Using A Recruiter To Find A Job
Job recruiters are useless.
That's one of the things I've learned in my recent job search. When I would contact them, they would either a) never respond, or b) tell me that they don't specialize in my "specific" field (who knew that writing and editing were such niche talents) but that they'd keep their eye out for me.
Assholes.
So one day, I sent a group e-mail to a bunch of these recruiters and tried my best to break down my skill set. Here is what I wrote:
Dear Recruiters:
My name is Nevin.
Find me a job.
Any job.
As you can see by the resume I attached, I can do writing, editing, marketing, public relations, corporate communications, and so forth.
Here are some of the other things I'd be willing to do for pay:
---Scoop ice cream.
---Shovel elephant dung.
---Juggle knives.
---Deliver eviction notices to folks in the ghetto.
---Eat glass.
---Be a Wal Mart greeter.
---Shave the wool off of sheep.
---Milk cows.
---Shovel other types of dung.
---Be a guidance counselor for teenage girls in Orange County.
---Teach Latin to dogs.
And finally, worst case scenario:
---Work in food services.
Please get back to me with a list of employment opportunities at your earliest convenience.
Sincerely,
Nevin Barich
a.k.a. Slave
And even after all that, I still couldn't find a recruiter to help me land a job.
I thought the "Wal-Mart Greeter," at the very least, would get me some response. They're always looking for people who will accept anything for any pay.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Hey, guess what? I'm trying to make a living writing blogs about the dumb things of everyday life. How am I doing this? With the help of the folks at iBizTraining.com, an online training resource that shows you how to run your own online business (Online Training, Online Business. My God, it fits!!). Find out more at www.iBiztraining.com
The best sportswriters in the world are women (I have always said this). And the best in the world is none other than my girlfriend Ramona Shelburne, sports columnist for the Los Angeles Daily News. Read more about her at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ramona_Shelburne
There's a high standard in today's fashion world. And no one meets that standard better than Spooles, which provides customers with high-quality purses and other accessories that are both affordable and trendy. Get trendy!! Go to www.spooles.com
There's a cowgirl inside every woman: Elusive, passionate, untamed (I wrote that myself!!). Elusive Cowgirl caters to the free spirit within you, priding themselves on a special line of high-quality products unique on its own yet tailored to fit your everyday style. Find your inner cowgirl: Visit www.elusivecowgirl.com
The laziest man in Earth…is blogging about it. Go to www.lazyhank.com and find out more.
Using A Recruiter To Find A Job
Job recruiters are useless.
That's one of the things I've learned in my recent job search. When I would contact them, they would either a) never respond, or b) tell me that they don't specialize in my "specific" field (who knew that writing and editing were such niche talents) but that they'd keep their eye out for me.
Assholes.
So one day, I sent a group e-mail to a bunch of these recruiters and tried my best to break down my skill set. Here is what I wrote:
Dear Recruiters:
My name is Nevin.
Find me a job.
Any job.
As you can see by the resume I attached, I can do writing, editing, marketing, public relations, corporate communications, and so forth.
Here are some of the other things I'd be willing to do for pay:
---Scoop ice cream.
---Shovel elephant dung.
---Juggle knives.
---Deliver eviction notices to folks in the ghetto.
---Eat glass.
---Be a Wal Mart greeter.
---Shave the wool off of sheep.
---Milk cows.
---Shovel other types of dung.
---Be a guidance counselor for teenage girls in Orange County.
---Teach Latin to dogs.
And finally, worst case scenario:
---Work in food services.
Please get back to me with a list of employment opportunities at your earliest convenience.
Sincerely,
Nevin Barich
a.k.a. Slave
And even after all that, I still couldn't find a recruiter to help me land a job.
I thought the "Wal-Mart Greeter," at the very least, would get me some response. They're always looking for people who will accept anything for any pay.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Hey, guess what? I'm trying to make a living writing blogs about the dumb things of everyday life. How am I doing this? With the help of the folks at iBizTraining.com, an online training resource that shows you how to run your own online business (Online Training, Online Business. My God, it fits!!). Find out more at www.iBiztraining.com
The best sportswriters in the world are women (I have always said this). And the best in the world is none other than my girlfriend Ramona Shelburne, sports columnist for the Los Angeles Daily News. Read more about her at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ramona_Shelburne
There's a high standard in today's fashion world. And no one meets that standard better than Spooles, which provides customers with high-quality purses and other accessories that are both affordable and trendy. Get trendy!! Go to www.spooles.com
There's a cowgirl inside every woman: Elusive, passionate, untamed (I wrote that myself!!). Elusive Cowgirl caters to the free spirit within you, priding themselves on a special line of high-quality products unique on its own yet tailored to fit your everyday style. Find your inner cowgirl: Visit www.elusivecowgirl.com
The laziest man in Earth…is blogging about it. Go to www.lazyhank.com and find out more.
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Starbucks: The Bane Of All Existence: A Nevin Barich Blog Experience
OK people, for those of you who don't know, I hate coffee. And I absolutely detest Starbucks.
Reason 764,831 why I hate Starbucks:"
A five-shot soy upside-down 195-degree caramel matkiyata."
I was in Starbucks not long ago picking up something for my girlfriend (for what it's worth, she wanted a venti iced latte with one sweet n' low) and was waiting for the order when the barista...("Barista." Glorified milkshake maker, that's what that is.)...when the barista called out the "five-shot soy upside-down 195-degree caramel matkiyata" order.
Now, let me skip ahead pass the six times I had to ask the barista (whose name, by the way, was Ellen) what that drink was called, and let's fast forward to the questions that I just had to ask her:
Question: This drink contained soy. Soy what?
Answer: Soy espresso, sir. It doesn't have as much caffeine as regular espresso, so it's better for your system.
Question: But doesn't having five shots of the stuff defeat the "better for your system" purpose?
(No response.)
Question: Why do you say 195 degrees?Answer: That's how hot the drink was brewed at. This way, it's not as hot.
Question: But couldn't I just blow on it like a normal person?
(No response)
Question: Why do you say it's upside down?
Answer: Well, normally the "caramel matkiyata" is put on top, but this person asked that it be put on the bottom.
Question: And how does one come to the conclusion that the taste of a "five-shot soy upside-down 195-degree caramel matkiyata" can be improved by putting the "caramel matkiyata" on the bottom?
(No response)
Soon after, the man who ordered the "five-shot soy upside-down 195-degree caramel matkiyata" picked it up.
"Excuse me," I asked him, "but I'm just curious: How did you decide to put the 'caramel matkiyata' upside down? Surely at one time, you had this drink with the 'caramel matkiyata' right-side up."
He turned to me."
Actually," he said, "I haven't. I've never had the 'caramel matkiyata' on top."
"Never?" I asked.
"Never."
"Never?"
"Never! Isn't that just crazy?"
Yes, I thought, it's crazy that you think you can order a "five-shot soy upside-down 195-degree caramel matkiyata" and think this is normal behavior.
Starbucks.
The bane of all existence.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hey, guess what? I'm trying to make a living writing blogs about the dumb things of everyday life. How am I doing this? With the help of the folks at iBizTraining.com, the world's first online business that shows you how to run an…online business (makes sense, don't it?). Find out more at http://www.ibiztraining.com/
The best sportswriters in the world are women (I have always said this). And the best in the world is none other than my girlfriend Ramona Shelburne, sports columnist for the Los Angeles Daily News. Read more about her at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ramona_Shelburne
There's a high standard in today's fashion world. And no one meets that standard better than Spooles, which provides customers with high-quality purses and other accessories that are both affordable and trendy. Get trendy!! Go to http://www.spooles.com/
There's a cowgirl inside every woman: Elusive, passionate, untamed (I wrote that myself!!). Elusive Cowgirl caters to the free spirit within you, priding themselves on a special line of high-quality products unique on its own yet tailored to fit your everyday style. Find your inner cowgirl: Visit http://www.elusivecowgirl.com/
The laziest man in Earth…is blogging about it. Go to www.lazyhank.com and find out more.
Reason 764,831 why I hate Starbucks:"
A five-shot soy upside-down 195-degree caramel matkiyata."
I was in Starbucks not long ago picking up something for my girlfriend (for what it's worth, she wanted a venti iced latte with one sweet n' low) and was waiting for the order when the barista...("Barista." Glorified milkshake maker, that's what that is.)...when the barista called out the "five-shot soy upside-down 195-degree caramel matkiyata" order.
Now, let me skip ahead pass the six times I had to ask the barista (whose name, by the way, was Ellen) what that drink was called, and let's fast forward to the questions that I just had to ask her:
Question: This drink contained soy. Soy what?
Answer: Soy espresso, sir. It doesn't have as much caffeine as regular espresso, so it's better for your system.
Question: But doesn't having five shots of the stuff defeat the "better for your system" purpose?
(No response.)
Question: Why do you say 195 degrees?Answer: That's how hot the drink was brewed at. This way, it's not as hot.
Question: But couldn't I just blow on it like a normal person?
(No response)
Question: Why do you say it's upside down?
Answer: Well, normally the "caramel matkiyata" is put on top, but this person asked that it be put on the bottom.
Question: And how does one come to the conclusion that the taste of a "five-shot soy upside-down 195-degree caramel matkiyata" can be improved by putting the "caramel matkiyata" on the bottom?
(No response)
Soon after, the man who ordered the "five-shot soy upside-down 195-degree caramel matkiyata" picked it up.
"Excuse me," I asked him, "but I'm just curious: How did you decide to put the 'caramel matkiyata' upside down? Surely at one time, you had this drink with the 'caramel matkiyata' right-side up."
He turned to me."
Actually," he said, "I haven't. I've never had the 'caramel matkiyata' on top."
"Never?" I asked.
"Never."
"Never?"
"Never! Isn't that just crazy?"
Yes, I thought, it's crazy that you think you can order a "five-shot soy upside-down 195-degree caramel matkiyata" and think this is normal behavior.
Starbucks.
The bane of all existence.
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The best sportswriters in the world are women (I have always said this). And the best in the world is none other than my girlfriend Ramona Shelburne, sports columnist for the Los Angeles Daily News. Read more about her at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ramona_Shelburne
There's a high standard in today's fashion world. And no one meets that standard better than Spooles, which provides customers with high-quality purses and other accessories that are both affordable and trendy. Get trendy!! Go to http://www.spooles.com/
There's a cowgirl inside every woman: Elusive, passionate, untamed (I wrote that myself!!). Elusive Cowgirl caters to the free spirit within you, priding themselves on a special line of high-quality products unique on its own yet tailored to fit your everyday style. Find your inner cowgirl: Visit http://www.elusivecowgirl.com/
The laziest man in Earth…is blogging about it. Go to www.lazyhank.com and find out more.
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