Saturday, January 16, 2010

Helping The People Of Haiti, and 'I Dump You' Cards: A Nevin Barich Blog Experience

Before I go into this week's blog, I wanted to talk for a minute about the recent earthquake that struck the people of Haiti. Sadly, the death toll is estimated in the tens of thousands, with current estimates ranging anywhere from 50,000 to 200,000.

In horrific situations like these, it goes such a long way if each of us can donate to help in the relief efforts. The following story contains several links where you can make a donation. You can also use your cell phone and text "haiti" to 90999, and Red Cross will charge $10 to your next phone bill. Help make a difference. Thank you.

And now onto this week's blog.

Try and picture the following:

A greeting card where the front of it contains a picture of two identical trees, with the following words:

Both of us have a lot of growing to do...

Now imagine opening up the insides of the card, where it reads:

...maybe it would be best if we grew separately for a while.

If you're the recipient of such a card, you've just been dumped.

Via greeting card.

Now I know what some of you are thinking:

Nevin, what the f***? That's the absolute dumbest idea I ever heard!! Why the hell can't someone be man enough to break up with someone, oh I don't know, in person?!? A greeting card dumping someone? Disgusting!!!

And if you're thinking this, you're thinking from the perspective of the person being dumped.

But what if you're the one during the dumping?

All of us have been on both sides of the fence. And on several levels, it's harder being the dumper than the dumpee. Breaking up with someone in person is hard. The other person cries, yells, begs, offers money so that you'll stay with them. Simply put, it sucks to listen to those pleas. But by the same token, there's a huge backlash against people who break up with someone via text or e-mail.

Enter the "I Dump You" card.

A greeting card is the best of both worlds. You don't have to break up with the person in person, and yet at the same time it's better received than a text or e-mail because you actually had to go out and buy something. Some thought was put into this!!

And there can be varying degrees of the "I Dump You" greeting card.

There can be the soft approach, as mentioned earlier.

There can be the mean approach.

I'm sorry I ever met you. You're a psycho and I never want to see you again."

Or there can even be the more-complicated I-don't-want-us-to-be-exclusive-right-now-but-I-think-I-might-want-to-later-once-I-sow-some-oats-so-I-want-to-keep-you-on-the-hook-for-a-while approach.

I'm not ready for someone like you right now. But I want to be, and one day I hope I'm worthy enough for you.

Either way, Hallmark should jump on this immediately.

"I Dump You" cards.

If you're in a miserable relationship, you know you're begging for this to happen.

(Note: I am happily married, and this blog topic was written with the direct verbal consent of my wife).


And now for this week's:


Freakin' McDonalds!! I went there today and found out that they raised the prices of their small fries to $1.19.

It used to be $1.

Value Menu, my eye.


Korina said...

I love how your topics are so funny.... and its a wonderful balance when you helped the flooed victims in Manila and now the relief efforts in Haiti.

You are awesome Nevin!!!!

Anonymous said...

interesting article. I would love to follow you on twitter. By the way, did you guys learn that some chinese hacker had hacked twitter yesterday again.

Anonymous said...

interesting article. I would love to follow you on twitter. By the way, did anyone learn that some chinese hacker had hacked twitter yesterday again.