Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Turning 30 With The Most Wonderful Woman In The World By My Side: A Nevin Barich Blog Experience

Usually when I write birthday blogs, I typically write about getting older while coming up with some funny little twist. And this year was going to be no exception. I am mere hours away from Thursday, Aug. 6, where I will turn the big 3-0. My 20s will be gone, I'll be starting on the path to middle age, and I even had the "funny twist" all set up:

"If the 30-year-old me ever went head-to-head with the 20-year-old me, 30-year-old Nev would kick 20-year-old Nev's ass!!"

But here's the thing: I honestly have barely thought about turning 30. I really haven't. My birthday really did sneak up on me this year. I know people make a big deal about turning 30, but as my 30th comes near, I have something much more important on my agenda:

Getting married to the most wonderful and beautiful woman in the world. :-)

For those new to my blog, on Aug. 22 I am getting married to my longtime girlfriend Ramona Shelburne. Ramona and I have been together for more than eight years, and it's her that I want to talk about this week.

Being with Ramona has taught me many things over the years. She taught me never to settle in my life. She taught me not to fear venturing out of my comfort zone. She taught me that it's OK to fail, and if I do, people won't think less of me and/or run away from me.

All of these lessons were huge and have helped me immensely throughout our relationship, but there was one lesson in particular that Ramona taught me that I value above everything else:

Unconditional love.

Unconditional love. It's different from falling in love. Falling in love, in many ways, is easy. You find someone that matches your physical, emotional and mental qualities, and you realize that it's easy to open up your heart to that person and let him or her in. You're seeing the best in that person and it makes you feel amazing.

That's falling in love.

But unconditional love is different. Unconditional love is when you continue to love that person no matter what. Unconditional love is when you love a person even after seeing some of their bad qualities, their flaws. Unconditional love is when you love someone even after seeing them at their worst, their lowest points.

Unconditional love is the love that matters most.

Ramona was the first woman I met with unconditional love in her heart. And I confess: It took me a long time to realize just how important and rare that really was. It was a lesson she and I have had to learn (and will continue to learn) more than once in our relationship, a lesson I nearly failed once or twice. But seeing her give me unconditional love during my low points in our relationship taught me the importance of doing the same for her. It's like a friend of mine once told me: "It's not about the good qualities in the person. It's about their bad qualities. Loving the good is easy. But if you can love the bad along with it, then you've got something."

That "something" is unconditional love. Ramona has always had it, and during our relationship, she taught it to me. :-)

Case in point: As I write this, I am currently holed up in my bedroom with bronchitis. I feel terrible, have to be waited on hand and foot, and look like one of the zombies in the movie "28 Days Later." The other night, I had a horrible coughing fit, so bad that I was nearly in tears as I feared something was seriously wrong. But Ramona was right there, calming me down, taking me to the emergency room, making sure I took my medicines and got plenty of rest. Her care has been awesome, but what's been even more awesome is knowing that even in this bad state, she still loves me regardless. I'm currently in one of those "at my worst" moments and yet I'm OK, because I don't have to question whether Ramona's love for me is any less. And during her "worst" moments, she knows that she also doesn't have to question my love for her.

That's unconditional love. :-)

Unconditional love is not easy. It's a two-way street -- both people in the relationship need to have it. So for those of you in relationships right now who have this type of love, I say never take it for granted. For everyone else, I say that falling in love is amazing. But unconditional love is truly the greatest love of all.

The love of my life taught me that. :-)

So how do I feel about turning 30?

Bring it on!! Because I got the greatest woman in the world by my side.

I love you, Ramona!! Thanks for saying yes!!


Before I get to this week's Sign Of The Apocalypse, a lot of you have been asking whether I'm going to continue my Project Runway Hater's blog for this upcoming season. The answer, unfortunately, is no. Despite hating watching the show all season, I genuinely loved that people got a kick out of the blog, and getting that mention in the Houston Chronicle was awesome. However, the season doesn't start until Aug. 20 and my wedding is Aug. 22. Factoring in final wedding preparations and the honeymoon, I'm already missing the first three weeks of the show. So it's with a bit of sadness that I say no to the Project Runway Hater blog this season.

And now for this week's:


Remember that dare I talked about during last week's blog entry?

Here's the video.



Another Suburban Mom said...

Congratulations! You will be getting married on mine and Hubman's 16th wedding anniversary. I can only wish you as much happiness and hot nookie as we have had over the years.

Blessings to you both.

Best wishes for a wonderful day!

Dave said...

You got yourself one awesome bride, Nevin. Way to go! Mucho happiness.

P.S. You can always hate Project Runway a little late. And Bravo reruns the episodes constantly. You could easily catch up after a few weeks or a month.

Elly said...

Nev, that was truly a beautiful piece that made me teary and my heart ache with extreme happiness for you and Ramona. Ain't love grand? :)

Ramona said...

Awww shucks Nev... You got me blushin over here :)

Stephanie said...

Aww... Happy birthday and congratulations (in advance) to you both!

K said...

Congratulations on the upcoming wedding! I do hope that you change your mind about the Project Runway blog. Even if you do miss the first three, I'd still loooooove to read it.