This past Friday, my friend Carlos and I went to see "Fast Five", the latest in the "Fast And The Furious" movie franchise. It's what men everywhere affectionately refer to as a:
"Guy Movie."
Guy movies are traditionally simplistic in nature. They comprise of the following things:
Action star guys.
Beautiful women.
Drugs.
Money.
Lots of bad guys.
One main bad guy who always wears a suit.
And a lot of implausible fight scenes and crashes that should kill the good guys in a manner of seconds, but in actuality just give the good guys a few minor dings and leave them no worse for wear.
Fast Five featured all of these.
Examples:
(Note: Minor spoilers ahead. Nothing to really give the plot away, but a few details nonetheless):
---When Vin Diesel gets busted out of the jailhouse bus by Paul Walker and Jordana Brewster, the truck flips over about 14 times -- with Vin in it -- but he is apparently able to leave unscathed.
---The main bad guy wears great suits.
---I counted about 8 times where Vin had his head bashed into a steel wall. He was OK.
---And Vin and Paul drop about 200 feet off a bridge into a river.
(They live.)
This movie has made untold millions of dollars -- both domestic and internationally -- since its release in late April. And as such, my theory on movies has been further strengthened:
Today's movies have gotten too complex. Complex characters. Complex plot. Complex dynamic. Complex chemistry. Complex sets. Complex costumes. I miss the simple days. Stallone. Van Damme. Ahnold. Willis. Good guy with some rough edges going up against some bad guys with a lot of guns, headed up by some sort of well-dressed drug lord.
I miss those kind of movies. Because with those kind of movies, you don't have to think. You just have to sit back and enjoy. In other aspects of life, you need to think. Work. Relationships. Household. When I go to the movies, I want to escape. I don't want to think.
That's why I never go see those Al Gore environmental documentaries.
I prefer ignorance.
And explosions.
And well-dressed drug lords.
:-)
And now for this week's:
SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE
A man in Wisconsin has just eaten his 25,000th McDonald's Big Mac, at one point eating nine per day.
Only in America.
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1 comment:
Chiming in here, my "Guy Flick" is probably more along the lines of "Movie that is vaguely historically motivated but nonetheless turns into a gore fest." Some examples include "300" and "Beowulf" recently. Every chance I get I still use the line This is <> Such as "This is LOVELAND!" :-p
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