Friday, July 3, 2009

Examples Of How Americans Are Stupid: A Nevin Barich July 4 Blog Special

Tomorrow, the U.S. celebrates July 4, our country's Independence Day. As our 233rd anniversary approaches, I thought it would be appropriate to share some observation's I've had over the past week that show us...

How stupid Americans really are. :-)

The following examples should help provide some further evidence as to why the rest of the world hates our guts:

1) Here's a question I heard someone ask earlier this week:

Do the British celebrate the 4th of July?

Um, let's see: Back in 1776 we declared our independence from Britain because they were being punks about taxes, the Brits send an army across the water to kill us, we kill them instead with the help of the French, the Brits are forever lambasted for that whole "redcoat" thing, and as a result we're far stronger than they'll ever be.

So no: I don't think the British celebrate July 4.

No wonder the British think we're stupid.

2) I was watching the Dodger game the other night and saw that they had someone sing "America The Beautiful" in the middle of the seventh inning. Major League Baseball has been doing this nonsense all year!! I mean, seriously, what the hell? You got the Star Spangled Banner -- a song in which no one sings the same way (which is freakin' annoying) -- before the game and you've got the seventh inning stretch's "Take Me Out To The Ballgame". How much more American do I need to be? Why do we have to add a random third element to the mix?

And for that matter, why the hell does America have two songs? All other countries have one. And they sing that song the same damn way every time. But we have two, and we tend to interchange which one we sing. This is our nation's anthem, not Transformers!! Pick one and stick to it!! And stop singing one of them in the middle of the seventh inning!!

No wonder the British think we're stupid.

3) OK, look: It's "French" fries, not "Freedom" fries. It's "French" toast, not "Freedom" toast. It's "French" bread, not "Freedom" bread.

Every July 4 holiday for the past couple years, I've noticed people giving their food the "Freedom" moniker in increasing instances. Here's a tip: It's stupid!! Switching "French" with "Freedom" does not make you more American. It just makes you sound retarded to the rest of the world. Someone used the phrase "Freedom" wine the other day and I thought it meant that it was made out of organic grapes.

Besides: The French have a bad rap. They helped us win our independence. They deserve to have the French food stay French in the eyes of Americans.

So thank you, French.

Love your cheese.

No wonder the British think we're stupid.

And now for this week's:


I actually don't have a traditional SOTA this week. Instead, I wanted to use this week's space to do a good deed and tell y'all a bit about HOPE Worldwide. HOPE Worldwide is an international charity that aims to change lives by harnessing the compassion and commitment of dedicated staff and volunteers to deliver sustainable, high-impact, community-based services to the poor and needy. Some of my friends have been involved in the organization's youth program over the years and told me of the richly rewarding experiences they've had as a result.

Causes that HOPE Worldwide have been involved in include:

---AIDS/HIV treatment and prevention education in Africa

---Malalai Emergency Maternity ward in Afghanistan

---Disaster response in Asia, Africa and North America

---Care for the elderly in Eastern Europe

---Diabetes medication and education in Australia and around the world

---Shelter and employment for the homeless in the UK

---Hope for the sick at the Sihanouk Hospital Center of HOPE in Cambodia

I have a lot of teenagers and parents of teens who read my blog, so I encourage you to check out HOPE Worldwide. And anyone can make a charitable donation to this worthy cause.

See? I'm not just about trying to steal handicapped parking spaces and pretending I'm a student to pay cheaper movie ticket prices. At

We care.


1 comment:

hope lives on said...

Aw, you are a nice guy. BTW, do you have .60 cents I can borrow?