Friday, April 3, 2009

People Who Make Left-Hand Turns Out Of Parking Lots Onto Busy Intersections: A Nevin Barich Blog Experience

Tell me if this has happened to you:

You're driving out of a parking lot, most likely of the shopping center variety, and are wanting to make a right turn onto a busy street. Before you can do this, however, there's a car in front of you who is insistent on cutting across two or more lanes of heavy traffic to make that left turn, and is willing to wait 15 minutes in order to do so, even though he or she can save himself 90% of the time if he or she just made a right and flipped a U.

Maybe I'm in the minority here, but this particular scenario drives me nuts.

Let me speak directly to the people who insist upon making left-hand turns out of parking lots onto busy intersections at peak traffic hours.

Why can't you just %$#&^%$#@ turn right?

I mean seriously, is it imperative that you make that left-hand turn? Is it really worth the wait? Would it kill you to make a right, make a U-turn, and save both you and I some time? Are you just not hearing my incessant honking of the horn because you utterly refuse to swallow your pride and go the opposite way for four seconds?

What the hell is wrong with you?!?!

And let me talk about another "making a turn" pet peeve.

I'm not sure if this is prevalent in other states, but in California, there are some signs right before a freeway on-ramp indicating that you can't make a right turn onto the freeway when the stoplight is red. However, most of these signs also usually say "From 3-7 p.m." and/or "Except Sat. and Sun."

Now here's the problem:

No one %$#&^%$#@ reads!!

Do you know how many times I've been stuck waiting to get on a freeway on-ramp on a Saturday morning because a guy has stopped at the red light and won't make the right turn because he doesn't have the time to scroll below the "arrow with the red slash across it" and read the text indicating that this particular rule is not enforced on weekends?

I mean, I'm not asking for much. I'm just asking you to go one step further and look to see why there's words at the bottom of the pretty little arrow, so that you can find out whether it holds any relevance for you.

And here's what's great about honking the horn at these people in this situation.

Every time you do so, they roll down their window and point at the sign, as if to say: "Can't you understand the arrow? Sure there's text underneath it, but I have no time to put sounds together and see if they make any sense? I'm a person who relies solely on visual aids. So because of that, we're going to sit here for an indeterminable amount of time because I'm a DUMB %$#&^%$#@!!!!!!"

These same people also insist on making left-hand turns out of parking lots.

Or marry people who do.

And those people have children.

Who become the next generation of "left-hand turn out of parking lots onto busy intersections, and refusing to read the words underneath the arrow sign when you're getting onto the freeway" ers.

Makes you wish a license was required to breed.

:-)

And now for this week's:

SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE

Recently, Miley Cyrus came clean and admitted that her boyfriend is indeed a 20-year-old underwear model.

Is anyone else out there worried that a 16-year-old -- someone who is a role model to young girls everywhere, someone who is...you know, not LEGAL -- is dating a 20-year old? Shouldn't some sort of parental figure (paging Billy Ray. Hello Billy Ray?) come out of the woodwork and say "No, this ain't all right."

I'm guessing the relationship won't last.

Going out on a limb, I know.

1 comment:

tekiegreg said...

Yeah the people who won't do the right/u-turn out of a parking lot are annoying, but quite often here in Colorado you have "no U-turn" signs for miles around, Ergo a legal U-Turn would be an issue.

Also on your point on Miley Cyrus, I'm wondering if it's not time to just admit the reality of our world and lower the age of consent down to 16. I know I'll probably get lynched for that (and yes I have a daughter, I understand the consequence). But kids are A) Better educated and B) Growing up faster than their predecessors, let's just realize these facts...