Saturday, February 21, 2009

Fathers Who Takes Their Sons To Starbucks: A Nevin Barich Blog Experience

OK, I have to get something off my chest.

Months ago, I wrote about how much I hated Starbucks. It's just a retched, awful place that's ruining society as we know it (plus, I'm not a coffee drinker). Sadly, however, I'm forced to go there from time to time because my fiancee Ramona just has to have her Venti iced lattes (sigh).

So that's why I visited the Starbucks in Chatsworth on a recent Saturday morning. And I saw something that just pissed me off.

Fathers taking their sons to Starbucks.

There's a certain bond between a father and son, a connection that simply can't be explained to women. The foundation for this bond is mostly created when the son is a boy and his father takes him out on Saturdays to do father-son things.

So when I see a father taking his son out to a God damn coffee bar on a Saturday morning because he can't fathom the possibility of spending any quality time with his boy without first partaking in a caramel makiyata (and if I spelled that incorrectly, tough), it just pisses me off. Because not only are you not spending any real time with your son, but you're making him think that places like Starbucks are normal!!

You know where my dad would take me on Saturday morning outings?

Go-Kart racing.

The arcade.

And the hot dog stand.

He never took me to a coffee bar.

Know why?

Because we're heteros.

That's right. I said it. And you know what? I'm not sorry.

(Except to my homosexual readers. Nevin Barich loves the gay community and I appreciate your continued support. :-0)

The point I'm making is: Boys today need guidance. They need to see the little things to let them know that their father is a man who does man things.

Starbucks is not a man thing. It's a metrosexual thing.

And there's nothing wrong with metrosexual things. Hell, I do metrosexual things. I own a striped shirt or two.

But if a man needs to get his Starbucks fix, let him do so on his own time.

Because sons should never see their fathers in such lights.

And now for this week's:


More than 10,000 page views have graced!!!

Thousands of people around the world...

...with no lives.

And for that, I say thank you.



Mike said...

I agree completely, Nev. Starbucks as a social gathering place, in any capacity, has always bothered me. Making it a father/son bonding experience is just tragic.

Couple of other things. First off, I know you spelled that drink wrong. I'm not sure exactly how it's spelled, but it's something like "Macchiato." Remember, the Starbucks spellings are bad/weird spellings of Italian words, not pseudo-Japanese ones. :)

Also, congrats on your 10,000, but remember something about page views. What matters is not the number of overall page views, but the number of unique page views. A subtle distinction, but one that matters greatly to advertisers. This is why blogs are actually considered to be rather unprofitable; sure, you may have 10,000 page views, but how many people just click on the site multiple times to check for updates? I could get 10,000 hits on my blog right now by just reloading it 10,000 times. Does your site tracker show you unique views?

Ramona said...

makiyata! i may never stop laughing

Another Suburban Mom said...

Nevin relax. We have taken our kids to Starbucks. The hot chocolate is awesome. And they have great cookies and muffins.

Carlos said...


Someone who is educated and tolerates everybody, you categorize people's behavior according to a stereotypica chart..
Who gives a sh*t that a father takes a son to get coffee drinks! Coffee drink bars aren't metro, coffee drink bars are places to have people wake the f*ck up by enjoying a good jolt of caffeine!!! Starbucks saved my life many times when I had to face my day where we use to work. In addition, I love Vanilla Lattes and if I have time, relaxing thee and doing whatever.
You are trying to tell me go-kart racing is more manly? I guess if you are a nerd or someone who is living in a trailer park where the Nascar flag is swinging high. Go-Kart racing, give me a break.


P.S. Starbucks was founded in Seattle, home to Grunge music. Don't tell me that music is metro.

See you for dinner next week jack@$$...