Saturday, October 25, 2008

Why The 1960s Was A Stupid, Stupid Decade: A Nevin Barich Blog Experience

This weekend is my future father-in-law's 60th birthday party and my fiancee Ramona came up with the idea of having a 1960s theme for the occasion, sending friends and family members into hysterical excitement.

That sounds like so much fun!!

The 1960s were such a great time!!

I can dress up like Janis Joplin!!

Forgive me, but I never understood this obsession with the 1960s. What, I ask you, was so great about this decade? Everyone talks about what a great time it was. If it was so great, why did this country feel the need to transition into disco? One would think that, if the 1960s were really that wonderful, society would have quickly harkened back to their 60s ways once they saw how ridiculous the disco era was.

Take the whole "free love" concept, for example. A bunch of random people having sex with each other for an entire decade. Sounds great, right? (a bunch of my male readers are nodding right now. I can sense them.) Except for one thing: Your average 1960s woman was ugly. Seriously, have you seen the pictures? Their hair is down to their kneecaps, they wore male-looking sunglasses, and most of them didn't shave their pits.

That's wrong. So very wrong.

Then there's the whole 1960s "spirituality" thing. History records that everyone in the 1960s was so in tune with their spiritual side. In the 1960s, I'm told, the spirit was everywhere.

Translation: Everyone in the 1960s was on acid. Everyone was choosing hallucinations so as to avoid living in reality. No one wanted to see the world for what it really was. So instead, they put themselves in a drug-induced stupor, pretended they were growing as individuals and had sex with pit-haired women.

And then there's hippies. You know what hippies are? Bums. They look like bums, they dress like bums, and they don't have jobs like bums. Take today's bum, put a tye-dye shirt on him, and boom: Hippie.

Oh yeah: Flower child? Female hippie. Female bum.

And then there's the music. I'm going to tell you something that I've held inside for years and have never said until now:

I hate the Beatles.

Yeah, that's right. I said it. In fact, I'm gonna say it again.

I hate the Beatles.

Man, that feels good!! A weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I'm a straight man, so this is the closest I think I'll get to coming out of the closet.

I mean, their songs suck, their haircuts were dorky and THEY WERE BRITISH!!!

Where's your American pride?

Plus, the band members were morons. John Lennon broke up the band for an ugly woman who wore beatnik hats, and Paul McCartney turned down a $500 million offer in the 1990s to reunite the remaining Beatles for one night because he felt that it wouldn't be right without John, who broke up the band in the first place.

Paul was probably on acid at the time.

Which would also explain why he married a woman with a prosthetic foot.

(Sorry, couldn't resist)


And now for this week's:


I went to the supermarket today wanting to buy some apple juice, and guess what I found?

One kind of apple juice.

Apple juice.

An American staple.

One kind.

You know how many varieties of green tea they had?


Nine freakin' kinds of green tea.

Green tea, people!!

Sometimes, I think this country's priorities are out of whack.


Mike said...

I'd agree with everything you said except the Beatle's songs sucking. I have yet to hear a thoughtful, musically educated person make that argument successfully. So here's a challenge from me to you, podcast buddy! Make me proud. :)

Tony Zayas said...

Wow, The Nevdogg is a Beatles hater. That hurts, but to each his own. I'm going to put While My Guitar Gently Weeps (one of my favorite songs of all time) while I write this, just to spite you :P

BUT, to knock British bands is just wrong. Name a band, from ANY decade, that can stand up to the likes of Led Zeppelin, The Who, The Stones, Cream, Black Sabbath...I can go on for days, you get the point. And, I'll even answer it for you - No Such Band, Artist or Act exists. Plain and simple. Americans had Jimi Hendrix, who is my musical idol, but they didn't have much beyond The Experience. Certainly nothing that could touch what was coming out of Britain.

The 60's were great if for no other reason than the music. The 70's were forgettable if for no other reason than disco. The 80's wre nothing more than laughable, if for no other reason than what all that blow did to our entire society for a decade (i.e. Bands from the 80's had "keytar" players See man in funny hat all the way to the right)

Now, those of you who are hip-hoppers (pull your pants up, crack is bad for you) or pop music fans may disagree, but it's not my fault you have no taste.

Anyway, good hearing from you, even if it's disturbing ;)

Cheers Bud,


Anonymous said...

You are such a close-minded valley boy jack@$$!

As Tony pointed out, the Beatles are an awesome band! Their musical talents of writing featured in Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band and the White Album are just two albums alone that show originality and talent!

In addition, the British are talented when it comes to music. Again as Tony stated, Rolling Stones, Who, among others are awesome!!!! Why do you think it was called the British Invasion!!!
Yes, there were awesome American bands too from the 60s (Doors)but don't knock the Brits down when it comes to music, come on! They still have talent to this day! Oasis is an example!
If there is one Britsh band to knock to support your argument is the Spice Girls... YES SEND THEM BACK but the same can be said about our losing talents as Britney Spears, Paris Hilton and/or whoever...

And jack@$$, what about Jimi Hendrix??? One of the best freakin' guitarist of all time, youTube him playing the American Star-Spangled Banner song at Woodstock and then try to disagree... He came from the 60s...

Our American invasion would had to be the Grunge period. The music was raw, had depth, meaning, etc. It was all about the music!
Though, let me guess, you don't like grunge???? I can see that...

Shut up and go listen to KISS FM with Ryan Seaquest.....

Amber said...

Dude... first the Cindy McCain assessment and now you reveal the fact that you hate the Beatles? Do I even know you???? ;)

Yose said...

Boo freakin' hoo, man. Pull your head out of your ass and loosen your tie.

Lil said...