Sunday, March 13, 2011

The New Generation Of Guys And Their Limp-Noodle Handshakes: A Nevin Barich Blog Experience

So lately, for one reason or another, I've been shaking the hands of various guys who are part of "The Next Generation." These guys are in their late teens or early 20s and have been tabbed to carry the mantle of all the triumphs and achievements that my generation accomplished.

I'm not exactly sure what those triumphs and achievements are. I am, after all, just 31. But just go with me on this. :-)

Anyways, back to the shaking of hands. When I shake the hands of these younger guys, I've noticed a disturbing trend:

Their limp-noodle handshakes.

Seriously, all of these guys 7-12 years younger than me shake my hand like a wet piece of spaghetti. If I apply any pressure whatsoever, I feel like I'm going to break bones.

In my day...

(I'm no longer part of "The New Generation." Thus, I have a "in my day.")

...when guys shook hands, we shook hands. I mean, we gave each other a manly grip. Like men do. We were taught by the generation before us that men display strength when they shake hands. It's a sign of power. Of confidence. Of manliness.

And today, for some reason, these guys shake hands like they don't want to break a fingernail.

And I wonder why.

I mean, is the fault mine? Was it my job to teach these guys the difference between right and wrong handshake? Did I fail them?

Or is technology to blame for the current state of limp-noodle hand greetings? Did the advent of e-mail, text messages and iPads somehow make it so that guys had less physical contact with one another and thus made it so they didn't know how much strength was OK to show and as a result went weak with their handshakes?

Or is it the lack of action stars?

Here's my favorite theory that just popped into my head. In my day, we had movies that featured Schwarzenegger. Segal. Stallone. Van Damme. Men of power. Men of physicality. Watch Predator. At the beginning ot the movie, Ah-nold and Carl Weathers (the dude who played Apollo Creed in the Rocky movies) share a manly handshake. When I watched that movie, I was 8 years old. An impressionable age.

You know what: That's it. The problem is a lack of action movie stars.

So the fault isn't mine.

So to the limp-noodle handshake guys who are reading this, here's your homework:

Watch Predator.

Watch Under Siege.

Watch Kickboxer...and/or Bloodsport.

And watch Demolition Man.

And afterward, you'll be shaking hands like a man.


And now for this week's:


Charlie Sheen is still alive.

I don't know about you, but I'm shocked.


Bob said...

Finally! Someone said it.

Evan said...

Preach on Nev. So true!

Josh said...

Men should shake hands like men. Guys who shake like a limp dick have a limp dick.

Kyle said...

You would think that limp-dick guys would try to compensate by having a strong-ass handshake.

Sarah said...

You guys are gross. So what? A guy's weak handshake makes him weak? When a guy shakes my hand, whatever his age, he doesn't give me a death grip. And I appreciate that.

Nev said...

Just to clarify, Sarah: I was talking about handshakes between guys. Guys in any generation know not to give a strong handshake with someone of the opposite sex.

Kirby said...

I get angry anytime I get a handshake like that, but worse is when men shake my hand like I'm a girl. What, they don't think my poor hand can handle an actual grip? Psh!

Greg said...

I think this blog post extended from someone in his youth (who shall remain nameless) with whom handshaking turned into a submission match :-D