Saturday, June 5, 2010

Finding Organic Ketchup In My Fridge: A Nevin Barich Blog Experience

This morning, I opened up my refrigerator and saw something I thought I would never see in a fridge occupied in my home.

Organic ketchup.

A staple, an icon, of preservative food, now in organic form.

My wife Ramona wants us to start eating more organic food. So currently, my home contains organic pasta, organic vegetables, organic stir fry, organic meatballs, and soda that has cane sugar.

But organic ketchup?

That's where I draw the line.

I'm an American. And as an American, I like foods that have become American staples. Hamburgers. Hot dogs. French fries. Bacon. Eggs. Sausage. All of these things are best when they're layered in preservatives -- everyone knows this -- and all of these things can have ketchup as a condiment of choice. So it naturally should be assumed that the ketchup used for these foods should also be layered in preservatives.

So when you bring organic ketchup into the fold, it disrupts the natural order of things. It brings about change when no change is needed. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Ketchup ain't broke. It should be immune to this organic nonsense. Putting organic ketchup on processed fries is not only wrong, it's un-American.

And it has no business being in my fridge!!

I mean, what's next? Organic salt? Organic chili? Organic baked beans? Are you one of those people who just have to have mustard and relish on a hot dog? Do you really want mustard and relish -- the things you love -- to fall prey to the organic nut jobs of the world? It can happen.

I don't like organic food. It scares me and I fear change. But it's one thing when things like beets and squash and kumquats become organic; I don't eat those things anyway!!

But organic ketchup?

That hits too close to home.


And now for this week's:


Four peaceful protesters, some dressed in full-length black and yellow bee costumes, represented the American Literacy Council and the London-based Spelling Society and stood outside the Grand Hyatt earlier this week, where the Scripps National Spelling Bee is being held. Their message was short: Simplify the way we spell words.

According to literature distributed by the group, it makes more sense for "fruit" to be spelled as "froot," "slow" should be "slo," and "heifer" — a word spelled correctly during the first oral round of the bee by Texas competitor Ramesh Ghanta — should be "hefer."

Now I'm all for the right to protest, but...

...ya know?


Black and yellow bee costumes?

A touch much.


Rachit said...

lol.. things are changin Nev. They sure are. next I know u will be eating salads for lunch. :p

Greg said...

Hey Nevin, watch the Penn and Teller Bullshit episode on Organic food, a real eye opener on the industry. Long story short Organic stuff is no better for anyone than the non-organic stuff....

Gilda said...

Oh, those Rosarita beans (good!) weren't organic?