Saturday, April 17, 2010

Texting Using A Number Pad: A Nevin Barich Blog Experience

I came to the following realization the other day:

I am the only person on Earth whose cell phone does not have a keyboard.

My cell phone is not a mini computer.

I cannot write a letter or a novel on my cell phone.

I type on my cell phone using the number pad.

Let's focus on that last sentence.

I type on my cell phone using the number pad.

Remember the dark ages? You know, the time when we could only send text messages using numbers? You may find it hard to believe, but I still live during this archaic time. While the rest of you suddenly came to the conclusion that having a cell phone that didn't contain letter keys was beneath you, I remained perfectly content with the ability to send my friends a message using numbers.

Sending a text message in general was enough to keep me happy.

Here's my issue with these cell phone keyboards: They're horizontal. It's just...odd. I like my cell phones vertical. I'm used to it being up and down. I'm not into this "left to right" cell phone concept. When I type on my current cell phone, a lot of my fingers are getting fresh air, not touching any part of the phone. They're free to roam, to explore, to be.

But when I type on these cell phone keyboards, the palms of my hand have to act as a brace for the phone. It's like I have to give it a support system just to use the damn thing.

Plus, I can't get used to going back and forth between numbers and letters on a keyboard. It's just not natural. It's borderline unholy. I honestly believe that this will ultimately lead to the destruction of the world. I really do. It's just another example of "I want I want I want" and "more more more" and "now now now."

Everyone in the world but me is greedy: That's what I've determined.

You know what everyone should do for one day? Go back to your roots. Get your hands on a regular cell phone. Type a text message using numbers. Go back and remember what it was like. Appreciate how things used to be. Think to yourself: "What would happen if I murdered someone, was found guilty in court, and sent to prison? What if they didn't let me bring my cell phone keyboard with me? How would I survive? Can I survive?

Think about it.


And now for this week's:


Broadcaster Larry King is seeking his eighth divorce.

King has been married to seven different women, but this is his eighth divorce, because he remarried one of his former spouses and then divorced her again.

Now let me ask you a question:

If you're this latest divorcee of Larry's, what's her mindset going into the marriage? I mean, she's gotta be marrying him for the money, right? She couldn't really assume that the marriage was going to last. The dude had been divorced seven previous times!! Don't tell me she deluded herself into thinking she was going to be the one who changed him.

You know what would solve the divorce problem in this country?

Pass a law that states the following:

If you divorce someone, you get caned.

Works in Singapore.


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