Friday, March 26, 2010

Going To My First Baby Shower: A Nevin Barich Blog Experience

I went to my first baby shower last weekend.

My friends Silvia and Mike are expecting their first child next month and recently hosted a couple's baby shower.

And going in, I had some reservations.

You have to understand something: When I hear the words "baby shower" I think of women, and only women, sitting around a living room, on 1970s decor, knitting, drinking tea, with the pregnant woman opening up gifts full of baby clothes.

I'm a sexist. I admit it. Sue me.

Luckily, this baby shower didn't fit that image at all. Actually, it wasn't all that much different from going to a barbecue. Lots of food, booze, people talking and joking in the background, etc.

Plus: They had M&Ms!! :-)

But even though the baby shower was similar to a lot of parties I've gone to, there were a few differences.

First, there's this whole "bring the happy couple a couple a box of diapers" thing. My wife Ramona and I have no kids, and won't anytime soon, so I've never bought a box of diapers in my life. Let me tell you: Those things are freakin' expensive!! $20 for Huggies? Good Lord.

Then there's the whole "name brand vs. non-name brand" thing with diapers. I'm a non-name brand person. I'm fine with no-name soda, no-name chips, no-name cheese. The no-name diapers were $6. I was tempted. I won't lie. But how could I look my pregnant friend in the eye and plop a box of cheap diapers in front of her, announcing that I was too cheap to buy the good stuff?

"Isn't my unborn baby worth more?" I can see her eyes telling me as she eyes the cheap diapers.

Christ, this diaper thing for baby showers is a scam. :-)

Then there's the games they play at baby showers. I'll be honest: I don't get them. I really don't. Guess the number of jelly beans in the jar? Guess how many inches the pregnant woman's waist is? (isn't that mean?) Guess how many bobby pins are in the rice?

Bobby pins in the rice?

Listen: I know times are changing. Men are becoming nurses. Couples are using hyphenated last names. Males do laundry now. But this whole couple's baby shower movement is going to take some time for men to get used to. It's like a poor kid being invited to a country club by his rich friend: The poor kid has no idea what to expect.

To help make the trend easier, my friend Greg told me a story about a couple's baby shower he once attended:

All the women played games, while the men went into a side room and played in a poker tournament.

Now that couple's baby shower had something for everyone.


And now for this week's:


India's military is going to weaponize the world's hottest chili.

No, I'm not kidding.

After conducting tests, the military has decided to use the thumb-sized "bhut jolokia," or "ghost chili," to make tear gas-like hand grenades to immobilize suspects.

Next item on the agenda: Making rocket launchers out of garlic sauce.

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