Saturday, January 17, 2009

Helping My Unemployed Readers Find A Job: A Nevin Barich Blog Experience

I'm very happy to say that right now, I am not adversely affected by this current horrific economy of ours. I currently work for a great company where the work is interesting, the pay is good, and the people are awesome. Plus, they give me free peanut butter cups. :-)

But I know that for many of you, that's not the case. Times are tough and every industry, it seems, has been hit hard. And about 14 months ago, I was in a similar boat. I was sending resumes out everywhere, even if I didn't really think I was qualified for the job. It even got to the point where I was researching job recruiters, in the hopes that they could help me land different employment.

And you know what I found? It wasn't easy finding a recruiter. Many of them are specialized and/or work for specific companies. Others sound like they would love nothing more than to help you, only to drop you if you don't nail the one and only interview they set you up on.

But given the current state of the economy and the number of people out of work, using a recruiter may be the best way to go. So for all my readers who are looking for work, here's a form letter I came up with during my own job-searching days that may help you find a recruiter to land you that dream job.

Dear Recruiters:

My name is XXXXX.

Find me a job.

Any job.

As you can see by the resume I attached, I can do XXXXX, XXXXX, XXXXX, XXXXX, XXXXX, and so forth.

Here are some of the other things I'd be willing to do for pay:

---Scoop ice cream.

---Shovel elephant dung.

---Juggle knives.

---Deliver eviction notices to folks in the ghetto.

---Eat glass.

---Be a Wal Mart greeter.

---Shave the wool off of sheep.

---Milk cows.

---Shovel other types of dung.

---Be a guidance counselor for teenage girls in Orange County.

---Teach Latin to dogs.

And finally, worst case scenario:

---Work in food services.

Please get back to me with a list of employment opportunities at your earliest convenience.

a.k.a. Slave

This letter, you should note, is guaranteed to get recruiters talking about you.

One way or another.


And now for this week's:


I didn't find this out until recently: The rapper Diddy pays someone to hold his umbrella.

I will say no more.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Peanut Butter Cups? You must work for Google. That's outrageous.