(Don't forget to also check out my podcast entitled Things That Matter With Mike And Nev. Only at http://www.mikeandnev.blogspot.com/)
I had a dream the other night.
I dreamt I was being chased by an angry mob of accordian players...
(just go with me on this)
...and in the course of running for my life, I came across an ARCO gas station. What I saw made me stop in my tracks.
"Wow," I thought, looking up at the prices. "$4.20 a gallon for regular unleaded? That's cheap."
When you start thinking that $4.20 for gas is inexpensive (dream or reality), you know there's a problem.
Gas prices are ridiculous these days. My girlfriend Ramona recently wanted to go out to a nice dinner (i.e., pricey). So I took her to the Chevron station down the street for a couple of corn dogs and a fill-er-up for the ol' Toyota Corolla.
Total cost: $74.
It was the most expensive meal we've had since our "courting" days.
All these economists have discussed how to battle these higher prices. I, too, have some ideas.
Here are three:
Work from home. Do you work in an office? Quit. The cost of traveling to and from work eats up any salary you make. Working from home alleviates that expense.
Worried about finding an occupation that doesn't force you to leave the home? Fear not, for here are three fulfilling "work-from-home" occupations:
Telemarketer. For those who like sales.
976 Phone Sex Operator. For those who like connecting with people.
And my personal favorite:
Independent Communications Consultant.
Don't know what that is?
That's OK.
No one does.
That's the beauty of it.
Make your friends drive. Convince your friends that the pleasure of your company is so great, that they should always come to you if they want to hang out with you and drive wherever you all decide to go.
You'll end up having fewer friends. But on the plus side, you'll be surrounded by people who worship the ground you walk on.
Or have low self-esteem.
Either way, it's win-win.
Live in a square. Odds are, you live in Suburbia. If so, everything you'll ever need is in a two-mile radius, so you should never have to drive far.
Take me for example. Near me, there are restaurants, malls, dry cleaners, gyms, fast food establishments, movie theaters and a Starbucks.
So long as I never see my family, become a Phone Sex operator and convince my friends to start a weekly poker game near me (to curb those occassional Vegas urges), I'll never have to travel farther than the end of the block.
And here you thought there were no solutions to the gas crisis.
And now for this week's:
SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE
I was visiting my good friends over at Rite Aid Pharmacy when I asked one of their workers whether they carried any ZipLoc bags.
"Yes," she replied.
And then she went back to putting pennies into the cash register.
"Um, could you tell me where they are?" I asked.
She looked back up.
"In the store, sir."
And back to the pennies.
And they say good help is hard to find.
(Given a choice between stopping global warming and going to nevdogg.blogspot.com ... we think you should go with option B.)
--------
That's right: The Nevdogg can now be found in podcast form!! I -- along with New York City voice actor and producer Michael Feldman -- have taken my blog...and essentially started talking about it. :-) It's Things That Matter With Mike And Nev. Check it out at http://www.mikeandnev.blogspot.com/
Hey, guess what? I'm trying to make a living writing blogs about the dumb things of everyday life. How am I doing this? With the help of the folks at iBizTraining.com, an online training resource that shows you how to run your own online business (Online Training, Online Business. My God, it fits!!). Find out more at http://www.ibiztraining.com/
The best sportswriters in the world are women (I have always said this). And the best in the world is none other than my girlfriend Ramona Shelburne, sports columnist for the Los Angeles Daily News. Read more about her at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ramona_Shelburne
There's a high standard in today's fashion world. And no one meets that standard better than Spooles, which provides customers with high-quality purses and other accessories that are both affordable and trendy. Get trendy!! Go to http://www.spooles.com/
There's a cowgirl inside every woman: Elusive, passionate, untamed (I wrote that myself!!). Elusive Cowgirl caters to the free spirit within you, priding themselves on a special line of high-quality products unique on its own yet tailored to fit your everyday style. Find your inner cowgirl: Visit http://www.elusivecowgirl.com/
Stephanie Friedberg. She’s a writer, she writes a blog about the art of writing, and she’s one of the few women on Earth who understand Major League Baseball’s "infield shift" concept. Read what she has to say at http://www.thewaterglass.blogspot.com/
Friday, June 27, 2008
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Celebrating Father's Day At A Gay-And-Lesbian Bar (Part 2): A Nevin Barich Blog Experience
(Don't forget to also check out my podcast entitled Things That Matter With Mike And Nev. Only at http://www.mikeandnev.blogspot.com/)
Nevdogg Note: Last Sunday was Father's Day, and my dad -- lifetime hetrosexual Bob Barich -- wished to go to a gay-and-lesbian bar, The Abbey, for Father's Day. Now, while we at nevdogg.blogspot.com love the gay-and-lesbian community and are full proponents for the rights of all people regardless of their sexual preference...we just had to write about this. :-)
The following is Part 2 of a two-part series. Part 1 can be found here.
-----
I'm like a lot of heterosexuals: I have gay friends and relatives and couldn't care less about a person's sexual preferences.
And I've never been to a gay-and-lesbian restaurant.
So when my dad wanted to go to one for Father's Day -- "because I like the food" -- I'll be honest: I was skeptical. What would the place be like? Would the food be any good? Would I stand out among the patrons?
And why the hell were we going here for Father's Day again?
Nev's Dad: I told you. I like the food.
Nev: And that's it?
Dad: Damn it, it's good food!! Read nothing more into this. And don't write about this on your blog!!
:-)
So, without further adieu:
-----
Food and drink...just like the heteros. California's Westside, where The Abbey is located, is full of "foo-foo" restaurants where the food portions are small and yet prices are extraordinary because you're paying for the atmosphere.
A concept Valley boys like me never subscribed to. :-)
But I was thrilled to see that this restaurant, like my hetero hangouts, had ample food portions, for those of us with hearty appetites. Big-sized burgers, heaping portions of fries, manly eggs and potatoes, huge desserts, etc. Ignoring the fact that all the sandwiches had watercress -- instead of good old-fashioned American nutritionless iceberg lettuce -- the food was similar to a redneck Texas steakhouse.
I myself had chocolate cinnamon french toast.
And it was yummy!!
But next time, The Abbey, ease up on the hazelnuts, OK?
-----
Baby, get your hand off my shoulder. OK, I have to be honest. During this experience, there were two "I like gays, I have no problem with gays, I have friends who are gays, I'm totally open-minded, but yet they're doing something that's totally weirding me out" moments.
1) Our waiter, Tyler, had this habit of putting his hand on patrons' shoulders every time he came to one of his tables. Not a pat, mind you, but a bonafide steady grasp. My right shoulder was no exception.
Baby, can I get you some more diet coke? Hand on shoulder.
Baby, is everything good here? Hand on shoulder.
Baby, would you like to see a dessert menu? Hand on shoulder.
And it didn't help that the dude had the grip of a bear. It's bad enough that you're grabbing my shoulder even though I didn't put out the "grab my shoulder" vibe. But if you're gonna insist on doing this, show a softer touch.
That's all I'm sayin'.
And 2) It's weird when one man calls another man "baby." It's just creepy. There, I said it. I mean, it's just not natural. Take a survey among heterosexual men and they'll tell you that they feel more weirded out watching men call other men "baby" than watching men kiss.
Men kissing? Fine. You see that on television all the time these days.
But calling each other "baby"?
That's just...off.
-----
TVs in the bathroom? Brilliant!! Now this is a concept that heterosexual restaurants have to steal. Above every urinal at The Abbey is a little flatscreen TV, so you can enjoy the wonders of television while going about your business. Brilliant!! Absolutely brilliant!! I used to think that the people at Chilis and TGI Fridays were geniuses for putting the sports section of USA Today above their pee stations, but The Abbey and their flatscreens blow them out of the water.
I truly believe that if more homophobic males learned about this "TV above the urinals" thing, there would be less homesexual oppression in this country. So I say to you, my gay brothers: Make the first move. Extend the olive branch out to non-open-minded heteros and say, "Hey guys, we're a lot like you. We like big food portions, unlimited soda refills, and our bathrooms allow us to watch TV while we piss."
Believe me: Your message will get through.
And now for this week's:
SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE
Me and some co-workers decided to order some pizza for the lunch the other day, and while on hold to order three large pies from my good friends at Papa John's, a lady came on the line and said the following:
Thank you for holding. Please hold.
Not once. But twice.
Thank you for holding. Please hold.
Putting me on hold.
Then taking me off hold to tell me to hold.
Twice.
Now that's service.
(This week's blog is dedicated to my friends Elly and Jeremy, whom on June 18 welcomed their first child, Max Orion Treat, into the world. Congratulations guys!! And remember: It's never too early to read nevdogg.blogspot.com to your kids.)
--------
That's right: The Nevdogg can now be found in podcast form!! I -- along with New York City voice actor and producer Michael Feldman -- have taken my blog...and essentially started talking about it. :-) It's Things That Matter With Mike And Nev. Check it out at http://www.mikeandnev.blogspot.com/
Hey, guess what? I'm trying to make a living writing blogs about the dumb things of everyday life. How am I doing this? With the help of the folks at iBizTraining.com, an online training resource that shows you how to run your own online business (Online Training, Online Business. My God, it fits!!). Find out more at http://www.ibiztraining.com/
The best sportswriters in the world are women (I have always said this). And the best in the world is none other than my girlfriend Ramona Shelburne, sports columnist for the Los Angeles Daily News. Read more about her at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ramona_Shelburne
There's a high standard in today's fashion world. And no one meets that standard better than Spooles, which provides customers with high-quality purses and other accessories that are both affordable and trendy. Get trendy!! Go to http://www.spooles.com/
There's a cowgirl inside every woman: Elusive, passionate, untamed (I wrote that myself!!). Elusive Cowgirl caters to the free spirit within you, priding themselves on a special line of high-quality products unique on its own yet tailored to fit your everyday style. Find your inner cowgirl: Visit http://www.elusivecowgirl.com/
Stephanie Friedberg. She’s a writer, she writes a blog about the art of writing, and she’s one of the few women on Earth who understand Major League Baseball’s "infield shift" concept. Read what she has to say at http://www.thewaterglass.blogspot.com/
Nevdogg Note: Last Sunday was Father's Day, and my dad -- lifetime hetrosexual Bob Barich -- wished to go to a gay-and-lesbian bar, The Abbey, for Father's Day. Now, while we at nevdogg.blogspot.com love the gay-and-lesbian community and are full proponents for the rights of all people regardless of their sexual preference...we just had to write about this. :-)
The following is Part 2 of a two-part series. Part 1 can be found here.
-----
I'm like a lot of heterosexuals: I have gay friends and relatives and couldn't care less about a person's sexual preferences.
And I've never been to a gay-and-lesbian restaurant.
So when my dad wanted to go to one for Father's Day -- "because I like the food" -- I'll be honest: I was skeptical. What would the place be like? Would the food be any good? Would I stand out among the patrons?
And why the hell were we going here for Father's Day again?
Nev's Dad: I told you. I like the food.
Nev: And that's it?
Dad: Damn it, it's good food!! Read nothing more into this. And don't write about this on your blog!!
:-)
So, without further adieu:
-----
Food and drink...just like the heteros. California's Westside, where The Abbey is located, is full of "foo-foo" restaurants where the food portions are small and yet prices are extraordinary because you're paying for the atmosphere.
A concept Valley boys like me never subscribed to. :-)
But I was thrilled to see that this restaurant, like my hetero hangouts, had ample food portions, for those of us with hearty appetites. Big-sized burgers, heaping portions of fries, manly eggs and potatoes, huge desserts, etc. Ignoring the fact that all the sandwiches had watercress -- instead of good old-fashioned American nutritionless iceberg lettuce -- the food was similar to a redneck Texas steakhouse.
I myself had chocolate cinnamon french toast.
And it was yummy!!
But next time, The Abbey, ease up on the hazelnuts, OK?
-----
Baby, get your hand off my shoulder. OK, I have to be honest. During this experience, there were two "I like gays, I have no problem with gays, I have friends who are gays, I'm totally open-minded, but yet they're doing something that's totally weirding me out" moments.
1) Our waiter, Tyler, had this habit of putting his hand on patrons' shoulders every time he came to one of his tables. Not a pat, mind you, but a bonafide steady grasp. My right shoulder was no exception.
Baby, can I get you some more diet coke? Hand on shoulder.
Baby, is everything good here? Hand on shoulder.
Baby, would you like to see a dessert menu? Hand on shoulder.
And it didn't help that the dude had the grip of a bear. It's bad enough that you're grabbing my shoulder even though I didn't put out the "grab my shoulder" vibe. But if you're gonna insist on doing this, show a softer touch.
That's all I'm sayin'.
And 2) It's weird when one man calls another man "baby." It's just creepy. There, I said it. I mean, it's just not natural. Take a survey among heterosexual men and they'll tell you that they feel more weirded out watching men call other men "baby" than watching men kiss.
Men kissing? Fine. You see that on television all the time these days.
But calling each other "baby"?
That's just...off.
-----
TVs in the bathroom? Brilliant!! Now this is a concept that heterosexual restaurants have to steal. Above every urinal at The Abbey is a little flatscreen TV, so you can enjoy the wonders of television while going about your business. Brilliant!! Absolutely brilliant!! I used to think that the people at Chilis and TGI Fridays were geniuses for putting the sports section of USA Today above their pee stations, but The Abbey and their flatscreens blow them out of the water.
I truly believe that if more homophobic males learned about this "TV above the urinals" thing, there would be less homesexual oppression in this country. So I say to you, my gay brothers: Make the first move. Extend the olive branch out to non-open-minded heteros and say, "Hey guys, we're a lot like you. We like big food portions, unlimited soda refills, and our bathrooms allow us to watch TV while we piss."
Believe me: Your message will get through.
And now for this week's:
SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE
Me and some co-workers decided to order some pizza for the lunch the other day, and while on hold to order three large pies from my good friends at Papa John's, a lady came on the line and said the following:
Thank you for holding. Please hold.
Not once. But twice.
Thank you for holding. Please hold.
Putting me on hold.
Then taking me off hold to tell me to hold.
Twice.
Now that's service.
(This week's blog is dedicated to my friends Elly and Jeremy, whom on June 18 welcomed their first child, Max Orion Treat, into the world. Congratulations guys!! And remember: It's never too early to read nevdogg.blogspot.com to your kids.)
--------
That's right: The Nevdogg can now be found in podcast form!! I -- along with New York City voice actor and producer Michael Feldman -- have taken my blog...and essentially started talking about it. :-) It's Things That Matter With Mike And Nev. Check it out at http://www.mikeandnev.blogspot.com/
Hey, guess what? I'm trying to make a living writing blogs about the dumb things of everyday life. How am I doing this? With the help of the folks at iBizTraining.com, an online training resource that shows you how to run your own online business (Online Training, Online Business. My God, it fits!!). Find out more at http://www.ibiztraining.com/
The best sportswriters in the world are women (I have always said this). And the best in the world is none other than my girlfriend Ramona Shelburne, sports columnist for the Los Angeles Daily News. Read more about her at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ramona_Shelburne
There's a high standard in today's fashion world. And no one meets that standard better than Spooles, which provides customers with high-quality purses and other accessories that are both affordable and trendy. Get trendy!! Go to http://www.spooles.com/
There's a cowgirl inside every woman: Elusive, passionate, untamed (I wrote that myself!!). Elusive Cowgirl caters to the free spirit within you, priding themselves on a special line of high-quality products unique on its own yet tailored to fit your everyday style. Find your inner cowgirl: Visit http://www.elusivecowgirl.com/
Stephanie Friedberg. She’s a writer, she writes a blog about the art of writing, and she’s one of the few women on Earth who understand Major League Baseball’s "infield shift" concept. Read what she has to say at http://www.thewaterglass.blogspot.com/
Friday, June 13, 2008
Celebrating Father's Day At A Gay-And-Lesbian Bar (Part 1): A Nevin Barich Blog Experience
Nevdogg Note: This Sunday is Father's Day, and my dad -- lifetime hetrosexual Bob Barich -- wishes to go to a gay-and-lesbian bar for Father's Day. Now, while we at nevdogg.blogspot.com love the gay-and-lesbian community and are full proponents for the rights of all people regardless of their sexual preference...we just had to write about this. :-)
The following is Part 1 of a two-part series.
Tuesday, June 10, 4:45 p.m.
It's five days before Father's Day, and I'm on the phone with dear old Dad, asking to see what he wants to do on his special Hallmark holiday:
Dad: There's this really great place not too far from me.
Nev: All right.
Dad: They have good food there.
Nev: Sounds good.
Dad: I like the food.
Nev: Gotcha.
Dad: I only want to go there because of the food.
Nev: Um...OK.
Dad: Just the food!!
Nev: All right, all right!!
Dad: Read nothing into this.
Yeah, that conversation was...normal.
The next day, I decided to go onto the Internet to find out more about this place that has such "good food." So I did a Google search for this place in West Hollywood called The Abbey:
And found out it was a gay-and-lesbian bar.
Now, in today's politically correct society, it might be advised that I stop here.
But here's my thinking:
I have gay friends. I have gay relatives. I have come across several members of the gay community over the course of my life. Some of them were nice. Some of them were among the coolest people I've ever met. Some of them were downright annoying. In short, other than the fact that they like the same sex, they are no different from me.
In other words, civil action groups: I like gays.
That said, be honest with yourself as I ask you this:
If your father said he wanted to go to a gay-and-lesbian bar on Father's Day because he liked the food, would you pause for a couple of seconds and move your eyebrows upward?
Just a little?
Hmm?
......
The Web site had a picture of pink pillows, for crying out loud!!
So anyways, not long after finding out that The Abbey was "the perfect place for a gay to take a straight person to," according to the L.A. Times, I called my dad and left him the following message:
Just tell me one thing: You're not gonna, like, come out of the closet on Sunday, are you? Because if you are, then can you come out to the Valley and tell me at a McDonald's? Because a Big Mac would lessen the shock.
My dad called me back and assured me that he wasn't coming out of the closet, that he simply wanted to go to The Abbey because it had great food, and that this was a perfectly normal place that all sorts of people -- of all races and sexual preferences -- frequent on a regular basis.
He then proceeded to tell me the following story:
We were there a few weeks ago with some friends and sitting at the table next to us was this drag queen. He had everything: The hair, the makeup, the dress, the fake (breasts). All dolled up. And he was looking at me the whole time, really staring at me. Anyways, about halfway through the meal, I got up to go to the bathroom, which is all the way in the back of the place. When I got back to the table, my friends told me that when I got up and walked past the drag queen, he turned around and stared at my (butt) the whole way. We all laughed. I guess I still got it.
Yep.
This Father's Day will be normal as normal as can be.
And now for this week's:
SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE
I was driving to work the other day when I heard the following on the radio:
Be caller number 10 and you can win tickets to see New Kids On The Block.
I don't think anything more needs to be said.
(Support gay rights. Then visit nevdogg.blogspot.com. It doesn't have to be in that order.)
--------
That's right: The Nevdogg can now be found in podcast form!! I -- along with New York City voice actor and producer Michael Feldman -- have taken my blog...and essentially started talking about it. :-) It's Things That Matter With Mike And Nev. Check it out at http://www.mikeandnev.blogspot.com/
Hey, guess what? I'm trying to make a living writing blogs about the dumb things of everyday life. How am I doing this? With the help of the folks at iBizTraining.com, an online training resource that shows you how to run your own online business (Online Training, Online Business. My God, it fits!!). Find out more at http://www.ibiztraining.com/
The best sportswriters in the world are women (I have always said this). And the best in the world is none other than my girlfriend Ramona Shelburne, sports columnist for the Los Angeles Daily News. Read more about her at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ramona_Shelburne
There's a high standard in today's fashion world. And no one meets that standard better than Spooles, which provides customers with high-quality purses and other accessories that are both affordable and trendy. Get trendy!! Go to http://www.spooles.com/
There's a cowgirl inside every woman: Elusive, passionate, untamed (I wrote that myself!!). Elusive Cowgirl caters to the free spirit within you, priding themselves on a special line of high-quality products unique on its own yet tailored to fit your everyday style. Find your inner cowgirl: Visit http://www.elusivecowgirl.com/
Stephanie Friedberg. She’s a writer, she writes a blog about the art of writing, and she’s one of the few women on Earth who understand Major League Baseball’s "infield shift" concept. Read what she has to say at http://www.thewaterglass.blogspot.com/
The following is Part 1 of a two-part series.
Tuesday, June 10, 4:45 p.m.
It's five days before Father's Day, and I'm on the phone with dear old Dad, asking to see what he wants to do on his special Hallmark holiday:
Dad: There's this really great place not too far from me.
Nev: All right.
Dad: They have good food there.
Nev: Sounds good.
Dad: I like the food.
Nev: Gotcha.
Dad: I only want to go there because of the food.
Nev: Um...OK.
Dad: Just the food!!
Nev: All right, all right!!
Dad: Read nothing into this.
Yeah, that conversation was...normal.
The next day, I decided to go onto the Internet to find out more about this place that has such "good food." So I did a Google search for this place in West Hollywood called The Abbey:
And found out it was a gay-and-lesbian bar.
Now, in today's politically correct society, it might be advised that I stop here.
But here's my thinking:
I have gay friends. I have gay relatives. I have come across several members of the gay community over the course of my life. Some of them were nice. Some of them were among the coolest people I've ever met. Some of them were downright annoying. In short, other than the fact that they like the same sex, they are no different from me.
In other words, civil action groups: I like gays.
That said, be honest with yourself as I ask you this:
If your father said he wanted to go to a gay-and-lesbian bar on Father's Day because he liked the food, would you pause for a couple of seconds and move your eyebrows upward?
Just a little?
Hmm?
......
The Web site had a picture of pink pillows, for crying out loud!!
So anyways, not long after finding out that The Abbey was "the perfect place for a gay to take a straight person to," according to the L.A. Times, I called my dad and left him the following message:
Just tell me one thing: You're not gonna, like, come out of the closet on Sunday, are you? Because if you are, then can you come out to the Valley and tell me at a McDonald's? Because a Big Mac would lessen the shock.
My dad called me back and assured me that he wasn't coming out of the closet, that he simply wanted to go to The Abbey because it had great food, and that this was a perfectly normal place that all sorts of people -- of all races and sexual preferences -- frequent on a regular basis.
He then proceeded to tell me the following story:
We were there a few weeks ago with some friends and sitting at the table next to us was this drag queen. He had everything: The hair, the makeup, the dress, the fake (breasts). All dolled up. And he was looking at me the whole time, really staring at me. Anyways, about halfway through the meal, I got up to go to the bathroom, which is all the way in the back of the place. When I got back to the table, my friends told me that when I got up and walked past the drag queen, he turned around and stared at my (butt) the whole way. We all laughed. I guess I still got it.
Yep.
This Father's Day will be normal as normal as can be.
And now for this week's:
SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE
I was driving to work the other day when I heard the following on the radio:
Be caller number 10 and you can win tickets to see New Kids On The Block.
I don't think anything more needs to be said.
(Support gay rights. Then visit nevdogg.blogspot.com. It doesn't have to be in that order.)
--------
That's right: The Nevdogg can now be found in podcast form!! I -- along with New York City voice actor and producer Michael Feldman -- have taken my blog...and essentially started talking about it. :-) It's Things That Matter With Mike And Nev. Check it out at http://www.mikeandnev.blogspot.com/
Hey, guess what? I'm trying to make a living writing blogs about the dumb things of everyday life. How am I doing this? With the help of the folks at iBizTraining.com, an online training resource that shows you how to run your own online business (Online Training, Online Business. My God, it fits!!). Find out more at http://www.ibiztraining.com/
The best sportswriters in the world are women (I have always said this). And the best in the world is none other than my girlfriend Ramona Shelburne, sports columnist for the Los Angeles Daily News. Read more about her at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ramona_Shelburne
There's a high standard in today's fashion world. And no one meets that standard better than Spooles, which provides customers with high-quality purses and other accessories that are both affordable and trendy. Get trendy!! Go to http://www.spooles.com/
There's a cowgirl inside every woman: Elusive, passionate, untamed (I wrote that myself!!). Elusive Cowgirl caters to the free spirit within you, priding themselves on a special line of high-quality products unique on its own yet tailored to fit your everyday style. Find your inner cowgirl: Visit http://www.elusivecowgirl.com/
Stephanie Friedberg. She’s a writer, she writes a blog about the art of writing, and she’s one of the few women on Earth who understand Major League Baseball’s "infield shift" concept. Read what she has to say at http://www.thewaterglass.blogspot.com/
Saturday, June 7, 2008
The New Place For Men To Meet Women -- The Bookstore: A Nevin Barich Blog Experience
(Don't forget to also check out my podcast entitled Things That Matter With Mike And Nev. Only at http://www.mikeandnev.blogspot.com/)
I'm a reader. I enjoy sports autobiographies, Harry Potter books and the occassional mafia-related tale. It's this love of reading that led me to my friendly neighborhood Borders bookstore in Northridge the other day, where I saw the following things:
---A guy going to a group of girls at a table at the bookstore coffee bar, asking if he could buy one of the ladies a latte.
---A guy hitting on a female Borders worker.
Are you a manager here? No? Really? Because you're smart. You're smart enough to be a manager. You're helpful and cool. Don't laugh, you know you are. What's your name?
The girl responded by saying "You should know already. My name tag is right near my breasts, which you keep staring at."
The guy didn't know what to say.
---And a guy whispering something in a girl's ear, which made her smile and give off one of those giggles that says, "I'm saying no but I'm not thinking no, but I want you to work just a little bit harder to make me say yes."
Women the world over know exactly what I'm talking about.
And as I thought about all these things, the following social reality occurred to me:
Outside of online dating, bookstores have replaced bars and clubs as the place where guys go to meet women.
At first, I thought to myself: How could this be? When did bookstores become the central place for people to meet the love of their life? (or love of the night, depending on what they're looking for.) How did this happen?
But the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. The more I pondered, the more I realized that it was only natural that bookstores take their rightful place as "Meet People Central" in today's society.
Speaking from a guy's perspective, I came up with the following three reasons for this new trend:
It's quiet. Even in my younger, wilder college days, I could never understand how guys could think in bars or clubs. It's too damn loud. You want to know why a guy fails when hitting on a girl in a bar or club 95 percent of the time? It's because the guy can't think.
It's true. Guys may disagree, but let me tell you this, single males: You'd be surprised what kinds of creative lines you can come with for approaching the female gender when placed in a quiet place where you can actually...
...think.
Try it sometime. You'll amaze yourself.
It's cheap. Go to a bar and you're compelled to buy a drink. Go to a club and there's a cover charge. But bookstores, God bless them, let you stay there for hours without looking down at you if you don't buy a thing.
For men, this is like Eden. For the first time since the bar in "Cheers," there's a place for men to meet single women and -- should they fail to do so -- it doesn't have to cost them any of their hard-earned money.
If any single guys reading this have the need for a good cry right now, it's perfectly understandable.
It shows "intellectualness." I have a fair number of female friends, and each and every one of them are leery when a guy approaches them in a bar or club. The woman thinks the guy is only looking for one thing.
Which is true. Hence the leeriness.
But bookstores are different. They're less threatening, and the woman won't automatically assume that the man is only looking for one thing. I mean, it's a bookstore!! A place of research and learning. A woman may think several things about a man in a bookstore. Perhaps he's a graduate student working on a thesis. Maybe he's a business executive getting background in preparation for a big presentation. Or maybe he just likes to work on his mental as well as physical muscles.
"Yeah," a male bookstore patron told me, "it shows off my intellectualness."
Intellectualness.
Never mind.
And now for this week's:
SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE
The best sportswriters in the world are women (I have always said this). And the best in the world is none other than my girlfriend Ramona Shelburne, sports columnist for the Los Angeles Daily News. Read more about her at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ramona_Shelburne
There's a high standard in today's fashion world. And no one meets that standard better than Spooles, which provides customers with high-quality purses and other accessories that are both affordable and trendy. Get trendy!! Go to http://www.spooles.com/
There's a cowgirl inside every woman: Elusive, passionate, untamed (I wrote that myself!!). Elusive Cowgirl caters to the free spirit within you, priding themselves on a special line of high-quality products unique on its own yet tailored to fit your everyday style. Find your inner cowgirl: Visit http://www.elusivecowgirl.com/
Stephanie Friedberg. She’s a writer, she writes a blog about the art of writing, and she’s one of the few women on Earth who understand Major League Baseball’s "infield shift" concept. Read what she has to say at http://www.thewaterglass.blogspot.com/
I'm a reader. I enjoy sports autobiographies, Harry Potter books and the occassional mafia-related tale. It's this love of reading that led me to my friendly neighborhood Borders bookstore in Northridge the other day, where I saw the following things:
---A guy going to a group of girls at a table at the bookstore coffee bar, asking if he could buy one of the ladies a latte.
---A guy hitting on a female Borders worker.
Are you a manager here? No? Really? Because you're smart. You're smart enough to be a manager. You're helpful and cool. Don't laugh, you know you are. What's your name?
The girl responded by saying "You should know already. My name tag is right near my breasts, which you keep staring at."
The guy didn't know what to say.
---And a guy whispering something in a girl's ear, which made her smile and give off one of those giggles that says, "I'm saying no but I'm not thinking no, but I want you to work just a little bit harder to make me say yes."
Women the world over know exactly what I'm talking about.
And as I thought about all these things, the following social reality occurred to me:
Outside of online dating, bookstores have replaced bars and clubs as the place where guys go to meet women.
At first, I thought to myself: How could this be? When did bookstores become the central place for people to meet the love of their life? (or love of the night, depending on what they're looking for.) How did this happen?
But the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. The more I pondered, the more I realized that it was only natural that bookstores take their rightful place as "Meet People Central" in today's society.
Speaking from a guy's perspective, I came up with the following three reasons for this new trend:
It's quiet. Even in my younger, wilder college days, I could never understand how guys could think in bars or clubs. It's too damn loud. You want to know why a guy fails when hitting on a girl in a bar or club 95 percent of the time? It's because the guy can't think.
It's true. Guys may disagree, but let me tell you this, single males: You'd be surprised what kinds of creative lines you can come with for approaching the female gender when placed in a quiet place where you can actually...
...think.
Try it sometime. You'll amaze yourself.
It's cheap. Go to a bar and you're compelled to buy a drink. Go to a club and there's a cover charge. But bookstores, God bless them, let you stay there for hours without looking down at you if you don't buy a thing.
For men, this is like Eden. For the first time since the bar in "Cheers," there's a place for men to meet single women and -- should they fail to do so -- it doesn't have to cost them any of their hard-earned money.
If any single guys reading this have the need for a good cry right now, it's perfectly understandable.
It shows "intellectualness." I have a fair number of female friends, and each and every one of them are leery when a guy approaches them in a bar or club. The woman thinks the guy is only looking for one thing.
Which is true. Hence the leeriness.
But bookstores are different. They're less threatening, and the woman won't automatically assume that the man is only looking for one thing. I mean, it's a bookstore!! A place of research and learning. A woman may think several things about a man in a bookstore. Perhaps he's a graduate student working on a thesis. Maybe he's a business executive getting background in preparation for a big presentation. Or maybe he just likes to work on his mental as well as physical muscles.
"Yeah," a male bookstore patron told me, "it shows off my intellectualness."
Intellectualness.
Never mind.
And now for this week's:
SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE
A jumbo black watermelon recently sold in Japan for the meager price of $6,100.
Typically, watemelons in the country sell for the low, low price of between $188-$283.
But this particular watermelon, according to an agricultural spokesman, looks like a watermelon, but it doesn't taste the same.
So it's got that going for it, I guess.
(Weekly Signs of the Apocalypses can always be found at nevdogg.blogspot.com. Tell all your end-of-the-world-fearing friends.)
--------
That's right: The Nevdogg can now be found in podcast form!! I -- along with New York City voice actor and producer Michael Feldman -- have taken my blog...and essentially started talking about it. :-) It's Things That Matter With Mike And Nev. Check it out at http://www.mikeandnev.blogspot.com/
Hey, guess what? I'm trying to make a living writing blogs about the dumb things of everyday life. How am I doing this? With the help of the folks at iBizTraining.com, an online training resource that shows you how to run your own online business (Online Training, Online Business. My God, it fits!!). Find out more at http://www.ibiztraining.com/The best sportswriters in the world are women (I have always said this). And the best in the world is none other than my girlfriend Ramona Shelburne, sports columnist for the Los Angeles Daily News. Read more about her at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ramona_Shelburne
There's a high standard in today's fashion world. And no one meets that standard better than Spooles, which provides customers with high-quality purses and other accessories that are both affordable and trendy. Get trendy!! Go to http://www.spooles.com/
There's a cowgirl inside every woman: Elusive, passionate, untamed (I wrote that myself!!). Elusive Cowgirl caters to the free spirit within you, priding themselves on a special line of high-quality products unique on its own yet tailored to fit your everyday style. Find your inner cowgirl: Visit http://www.elusivecowgirl.com/
Stephanie Friedberg. She’s a writer, she writes a blog about the art of writing, and she’s one of the few women on Earth who understand Major League Baseball’s "infield shift" concept. Read what she has to say at http://www.thewaterglass.blogspot.com/
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