(Don't forget to also check out my podcast entitled Things That Matter With Mike And Nev. Only at http://www.mikeandnev.blogspot.com/)
Like many people, I like a little reality TV every now and again. I'm a huge fan of Survivor and I've watched the last few seasons of Dancing With The Stars. But I think we definitely go too far when we see a television show about Denise Richards' home life, or exploring the dirty little secrets that go on inside the tanning salon business.
This week on Sunset Tan: Andrea feels overworked, and Mandy is tired of cleaning the tanning beds!!
C'mon people: Sometimes, we have to draw the line.
This is why I'm not into any of these cooking reality shows, like Hell's Kitchen or anything you'd find on the Food channel. But my girlfriend Ramona loves Top Chef -- where a bunch of gourmet chefs compete against each other for the prize of being ... I don't know, better than everyone else, I guess -- and convinced me to watch an episode of it with her.
Now, I preface this blog by saying that I watched exactly seven minutes of Top Chef. Believe me, that was about six minutes and 53 seconds too long.
With that in mind:
-------
The gourmet chefs get woken up at 5:45 a.m. and are told they are going to compete in something called a "Quickfire Challenge." Apparently, each of these chefs will spend some time being a short order cook in a Chicago diner during breakfast time, cooking eggs.
"Let's get the egg out of here," one of the chefs say.
I hate this show already.
-------
One of the male gourmet chefs is worried.
I was a short order cook for six or seven years, so I feel like I may an advantage. But I haven't cooked eggs in the longest time, and that's a concern.
I haven't cooked eggs in the longest time. Is he serious? How can anyone not cook eggs recently? I mean, they're eggs!! I never cook, and even I have cooked eggs in recent memory.
Damn good eggs, I might add.
With sausage.
---------
One of the female gourmet chefs has a look around her work station.
Why is everything so greasy? I hate when things are so greasy. I can't work with grease.
I literally am begging someone to spray her with lard. Right now.
--------
Another male contestant is struggling under the weight of having all the wattresses giving him different egg orders. One person wants his eggs poached, another scrambled, the third one over-easy.
This causes the guy to throw his hands up in the air and ask:
Doesn't anyone care about the presentation?!?
The camera pans to the owner of the diner. She's shaking her head.
Glad to see someone is sane on this show.
-------
I ask my girlfriend a question you can only ask while watching Top Chef:
Which one is the guy who cooked eggs but no longer cooks eggs but is worried about once again cooking eggs? Has he cooked his eggs?
Yes, I was told.
How'd he do?
The yolk, I was told, fell on the floor when he broke his shell.
Wow.
-------
And finally, remember the "let's get the egg out of here" guy?
This is ridiculous. I am an artist!! I don't work on friers.
And it was right about then, seven minutes into the show, that I had seen enough.
"But you're gonna miss who had the best eggs!!" my girlfriend said.
Somehow, some way, I'll get by.
And now for this week's:
SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE
My friend Shandon recently informed me that there's a Nevin Avenue in Los Angeles.
'Bout bloody time.
Nice to see the city finally responded to my letters.
(Cool kids tell their friends about www.nevdogg.blogspot.com. C'mon, everyone's doing it.)
-----------
That's right: The Nevdogg can now be found in podcast form!! I -- along with New York City voice actor and producer Michael Feldman -- have taken my blog...and essentially started talking about it. :-) It's Things That Matter With Mike And Nev. Check it out at http://www.mikeandnev.blogspot.com/
Hey, guess what? I'm trying to make a living writing blogs about the dumb things of everyday life. How am I doing this? With the help of the folks at iBizTraining.com, an online training resource that shows you how to run your own online business (Online Training, Online Business. My God, it fits!!). Find out more at http://www.ibiztraining.com/
The best sportswriters in the world are women (I have always said this). And the best in the world is none other than my girlfriend Ramona Shelburne, sports columnist for the Los Angeles Daily News. Read more about her at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ramona_Shelburne
There's a high standard in today's fashion world. And no one meets that standard better than Spooles, which provides customers with high-quality purses and other accessories that are both affordable and trendy. Get trendy!! Go to http://www.spooles.com/
There's a cowgirl inside every woman: Elusive, passionate, untamed (I wrote that myself!!). Elusive Cowgirl caters to the free spirit within you, priding themselves on a special line of high-quality products unique on its own yet tailored to fit your everyday style. Find your inner cowgirl: Visit http://www.elusivecowgirl.com/
Stephanie Friedberg. She’s a writer, she writes a blog about the art of writing, and she’s one of the few women on Earth who understand Major League Baseball’s "infield shift" concept. Read what she has to say at http://www.thewaterglass.blogspot.com/
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Pregnant Women Fight Back!! The Battle Over Expectant Mother Parking Spaces Continues: A Nevin Barich Blog Experience
Last week, in my blog about wanting a handicap-parking sticker for my own selfish needs, I made a brief mention that until I could procure such a sticker (so that I could park up front at my favorite establishments and not have to circle around a parking lot for 20 minutes to find a space), I would kill time by parking in the "expectant mother" parking spaces, because those spaces use the honor system.
Well, the pregnant women answered back. :-)
Earlier this week, my friend Elly -- who is due to give birth next month to her first child -- responded to my post on her own blog (http://www.ellyandjeremy.blogspot.com/):
To those ‘non pregnant’ stealers of this space, I tell you this:
It's so not fair for those of us who are waddling their way around, barely being able to walk from the added 25-30 pounds and the excruciating pain of slowly parting pelvic bones and ligaments as if a horse kicked you in the crotch. And, let’s not talk about the recent heat wave here in Southern California that will melt a pregnant woman in her crazy swollen feet’s tracks (what are ankles again?). Or, how about when the baby suddenly decides to pop a squat on your bladder, making you not think twice about finding a nearby bush?
Now, in response to this, I could say something along the lines of:
"Elly, I'd like to apologize to you, and indeed all pregnant women, if my comments last week were insensitive. These parking spaces should indeed be reserved for pregant women so that the considerable sacrifices they make to bring us into this world are made a bit more tolerable on at least one level."
But that would be boring as hell. :-)
Besides, Elly and I are friends. More importantly, she was totally gung ho about the whole "pregnant women fight back!!!!" theme of this blog and subsequent rebuttals that I was bound to make (as is my oh-so-controversial style).
Thus, I consider myself as having a free pass to say the following three things:
1) Countless women have gotten pregnant before the days of the expectant mother parking spaces. They managed to waddle to the Home Depot after parking far away, and their children came out fine (most of them, anyway). But apparently, expectant mother parking spaces have become like cell phones: Now that they exist, you can't dare live without them. Please.
My own dear mother went to Disneyland when she was six months pregnant with me, and she didn't have an "expectant mother" golf cart taking her all around the park. No, she walked to each and every ride.
And I came out perfectly normal.
2) It's too hot in California? Here's a thought: Have your baby in Seattle. Or Utah. Or in Wisconsin during the dead of winter. Better still, for child No. 2, instruct your husband to knock you up at a time when you can have your baby in March. California has been known to have a heat wave or two. You knew this going in.
It's too hot for you?
Then move.
Or adopt.
3) Don't talk to me about getting kicked in the crotch. I'm a man. I have testicles. I know a thing or two about crotch-kicking pain. One time, I was a playing in a basketball game with an old guy on the opposing team, and when I kept blowing by him for layups, the old guy responded by kicking the basketball straight into my groin, causing me to collapse in pain and speak in a high-pitched voice for 17 minutes.
Now, if a woman was hit in the groin by a basketball that was kicked by an old man who was mad that he kept getting beat on layups, would the woman feel as much pain?
No.
Why?
No testicles.
Having said all of this, I have decided not to park in the "expectant mother" parking spaces.
Because if I did, I would be racked with guilt over the whole "parting pelvic bones" thing.
Thanks Elly.
You ruined it for all of us.
:-)
And now for this week's:
SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE
Reason No. 567,423 why hockey is stupid:
Earlier this week, the National Hockey League upheld its decision to ban a 56-year tradition by the Detroit Red Wings in which fans throw octopus onto the ice. Not fake, stuffed animal octopus, mind you, but the real eight-legged (or are they arms?) thing.
Apparently, twirling around octopi has been a part of Detroit hockey culture since 1952, when two brothers who ran a local fish market flung an octopus onto the ice for good luck. The Red Wings went on to win the Stanley Cup that year, and a moronic tradition was more.
Throwing dead octopus onto a hockey rink.
That's just stupid.
Hockey is stupid.
And the octopus toss makes it even more stupid.
Hockey.
Stupid.
(Do your friends complain about the increasing monotony that's appearing over the Internet? If so, send them to www.nevdogg.blogspot.com. I'll be fresh and exciting for at least a few more weeks.)
-----------
That's right: The Nevdogg can now be found in podcast form!! I -- along with New York City voice actor and producer Michael Feldman -- have taken my blog...and essentially started talking about it. :-) Check it out at http://www.mikeandnev.blogspot.com/
Hey, guess what? I'm trying to make a living writing blogs about the dumb things of everyday life. How am I doing this? With the help of the folks at iBizTraining.com, an online training resource that shows you how to run your own online business (Online Training, Online Business. My God, it fits!!). Find out more at http://www.ibiztraining.com/
The best sportswriters in the world are women (I have always said this). And the best in the world is none other than my girlfriend Ramona Shelburne, sports columnist for the Los Angeles Daily News. Read more about her at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ramona_Shelburne
There's a high standard in today's fashion world. And no one meets that standard better than Spooles, which provides customers with high-quality purses and other accessories that are both affordable and trendy. Get trendy!! Go to http://www.spooles.com/
There's a cowgirl inside every woman: Elusive, passionate, untamed (I wrote that myself!!). Elusive Cowgirl caters to the free spirit within you, priding themselves on a special line of high-quality products unique on its own yet tailored to fit your everyday style. Find your inner cowgirl: Visit http://www.elusivecowgirl.com/
Stephanie Friedberg. She’s a writer, she writes a blog about the art of writing, and she’s one of the few women on Earth who understand Major League Baseball’s "infield shift" concept. Read what she has to say at http://www.thewaterglass.blogspot.com/
Well, the pregnant women answered back. :-)
Earlier this week, my friend Elly -- who is due to give birth next month to her first child -- responded to my post on her own blog (http://www.ellyandjeremy.blogspot.com/):
To those ‘non pregnant’ stealers of this space, I tell you this:
It's so not fair for those of us who are waddling their way around, barely being able to walk from the added 25-30 pounds and the excruciating pain of slowly parting pelvic bones and ligaments as if a horse kicked you in the crotch. And, let’s not talk about the recent heat wave here in Southern California that will melt a pregnant woman in her crazy swollen feet’s tracks (what are ankles again?). Or, how about when the baby suddenly decides to pop a squat on your bladder, making you not think twice about finding a nearby bush?
Now, in response to this, I could say something along the lines of:
"Elly, I'd like to apologize to you, and indeed all pregnant women, if my comments last week were insensitive. These parking spaces should indeed be reserved for pregant women so that the considerable sacrifices they make to bring us into this world are made a bit more tolerable on at least one level."
But that would be boring as hell. :-)
Besides, Elly and I are friends. More importantly, she was totally gung ho about the whole "pregnant women fight back!!!!" theme of this blog and subsequent rebuttals that I was bound to make (as is my oh-so-controversial style).
Thus, I consider myself as having a free pass to say the following three things:
1) Countless women have gotten pregnant before the days of the expectant mother parking spaces. They managed to waddle to the Home Depot after parking far away, and their children came out fine (most of them, anyway). But apparently, expectant mother parking spaces have become like cell phones: Now that they exist, you can't dare live without them. Please.
My own dear mother went to Disneyland when she was six months pregnant with me, and she didn't have an "expectant mother" golf cart taking her all around the park. No, she walked to each and every ride.
And I came out perfectly normal.
2) It's too hot in California? Here's a thought: Have your baby in Seattle. Or Utah. Or in Wisconsin during the dead of winter. Better still, for child No. 2, instruct your husband to knock you up at a time when you can have your baby in March. California has been known to have a heat wave or two. You knew this going in.
It's too hot for you?
Then move.
Or adopt.
3) Don't talk to me about getting kicked in the crotch. I'm a man. I have testicles. I know a thing or two about crotch-kicking pain. One time, I was a playing in a basketball game with an old guy on the opposing team, and when I kept blowing by him for layups, the old guy responded by kicking the basketball straight into my groin, causing me to collapse in pain and speak in a high-pitched voice for 17 minutes.
Now, if a woman was hit in the groin by a basketball that was kicked by an old man who was mad that he kept getting beat on layups, would the woman feel as much pain?
No.
Why?
No testicles.
Having said all of this, I have decided not to park in the "expectant mother" parking spaces.
Because if I did, I would be racked with guilt over the whole "parting pelvic bones" thing.
Thanks Elly.
You ruined it for all of us.
:-)
And now for this week's:
SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE
Reason No. 567,423 why hockey is stupid:
Earlier this week, the National Hockey League upheld its decision to ban a 56-year tradition by the Detroit Red Wings in which fans throw octopus onto the ice. Not fake, stuffed animal octopus, mind you, but the real eight-legged (or are they arms?) thing.
Apparently, twirling around octopi has been a part of Detroit hockey culture since 1952, when two brothers who ran a local fish market flung an octopus onto the ice for good luck. The Red Wings went on to win the Stanley Cup that year, and a moronic tradition was more.
Throwing dead octopus onto a hockey rink.
That's just stupid.
Hockey is stupid.
And the octopus toss makes it even more stupid.
Hockey.
Stupid.
(Do your friends complain about the increasing monotony that's appearing over the Internet? If so, send them to www.nevdogg.blogspot.com. I'll be fresh and exciting for at least a few more weeks.)
-----------
That's right: The Nevdogg can now be found in podcast form!! I -- along with New York City voice actor and producer Michael Feldman -- have taken my blog...and essentially started talking about it. :-) Check it out at http://www.mikeandnev.blogspot.com/
Hey, guess what? I'm trying to make a living writing blogs about the dumb things of everyday life. How am I doing this? With the help of the folks at iBizTraining.com, an online training resource that shows you how to run your own online business (Online Training, Online Business. My God, it fits!!). Find out more at http://www.ibiztraining.com/
The best sportswriters in the world are women (I have always said this). And the best in the world is none other than my girlfriend Ramona Shelburne, sports columnist for the Los Angeles Daily News. Read more about her at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ramona_Shelburne
There's a high standard in today's fashion world. And no one meets that standard better than Spooles, which provides customers with high-quality purses and other accessories that are both affordable and trendy. Get trendy!! Go to http://www.spooles.com/
There's a cowgirl inside every woman: Elusive, passionate, untamed (I wrote that myself!!). Elusive Cowgirl caters to the free spirit within you, priding themselves on a special line of high-quality products unique on its own yet tailored to fit your everyday style. Find your inner cowgirl: Visit http://www.elusivecowgirl.com/
Stephanie Friedberg. She’s a writer, she writes a blog about the art of writing, and she’s one of the few women on Earth who understand Major League Baseball’s "infield shift" concept. Read what she has to say at http://www.thewaterglass.blogspot.com/
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Yearning For A Handicap-Parking Sticker For My Own Selfish Use: A Nevin Barich Blog Experience
I want a handicap-parking sticker so I no longer have to drive around a parking lot 18 times to find a parking space.
There, I said it.
If we were all together in a room right now, and I asked how many of you have had to drive aimlessly around a parking lot until you could find a space, each one of you would have their hand raised high. It’s ridiculous. Finding a parking space sometimes is like navigating through a minefield of wired, hulking steel, with so many cars maneuvering around to find one or two empty spots. And let’s not forget how we scope out the people who appear to be walking to their cars, following behind them like the paparazzi follow Britney Spears as she puts her children on the roof of her SUV and then forgets where they are.
And that’s not even talking about the danger factor. The scariest drivers on Earth aren’t found on the 405 Freeway as they race to catch a flight at LAX. No, the scariest drivers are found at cramped parking lots, where everyone is driving at breakneck speeds in a confined space desperate to park somewhere, making hairpin turns and turning a blind eye to anyone and everyone in their path.
How many of you have almost been killed multiple times while in a busy parking lot? My current count is at 14.
And once we finally find a space – way in the back row, a five-minute walk from whatever location we’re trying to get to – we inevitably pass by the handicap spots, all empty, and all close by.
Beautiful, empty, close-by spaces.
And the man says you need a sticker to park in one.
It’s not right.
My mom disagrees with me. My mom – who along with myself had a crazy parking lot adventure while going to a Mother’s Day lunch last weekend – argued that the use of handicapped spaces by the non-handicapped would mean that those who were handicapped would be forced to park far away. She also said that parking far away and walking a few minutes is no big deal for healthy people, and that parking in a space not designated for you is unethical.
My thoughts:
Those who are handicapped would be forced to park far away. Not true. Handicapped spaces are never full. Ever. Know why? Because elderly people either a) no longer drive, or b) are too proud to use the handicap sticker. These are facts, people. I’m not taking away the privilege from somebody else. I’m putting the privilege to actual use. Isn’t it my right – nay, my duty – as an American to enjoy such liberties?
Parking far away and walking a few minutes to your destination is no big deal for healthy people. That’s not the point!! The point is that I shouldn’t have to walk far in the first place. If I wanted to walk far, I wouldn’t have driven to begin with. Walking far after driving defeats the entire purpose of the automotive age.
Parking in a space not designated for you is unethical. Tell me if you feel the same way after someone rams me with their Hummer because they drove 120 miles an hour toward what they thought was an open parking space, but was actually a space occupied by a small, compact car.
It’s bound to happen sooner or later. Law of averages.
I wish my grandparents were still alive so I could swipe their handicap-parking sticker.
Oh well.
I guess I’ll park in those "expectant mothers" parking spaces that are currently all the rage.
Those spaces use the honor system.
:-)
And now for this week’s:
SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE
In last week’s blog, I wrote about how Jennifer Aniston and Orlando Bloom were rumored to be an item, according to OK! Magazine. Well, since then I have gotten countless e-mails and text messages telling me how sooooooooo behind the times I am when it comes to the men in Jen’s life. Observe:
Nev, Orlando Bloom and Jennifer Aniston are sooooo over. Jennifer and John Mayer are an item now.
Nev, your news on Jen is sooooo last week. Jen and John is what’s happening today.
I thought Jennifer Aniston was dating John Mayer now?
OMG!!! Did Jen break up with John? Does that mean he’s single?!?
This tells me two things:
1) Jennifer Aniston is having commitment issues since her breakup with Brad Pitt. First, there was Vince Vaughn, then Orlando Bloom, then John Mayer, and I think there was a European model somewhere in there. Jenny is going through men like she went through hairstyles on Friends.
And 2) The folks who updated me on Jennifer Aniston’s personal life have no lives of their own.
Or they have boring and pointless jobs.
I still love you, though. :-)
(The more people who know about www.nevdogg.blogspot.com, the better a place the world will be.)
-----------
Hey, guess what? I'm trying to make a living writing blogs about the dumb things of everyday life. How am I doing this? With the help of the folks at iBizTraining.com, an online training resource that shows you how to run your own online business (Online Training, Online Business. My God, it fits!!). Find out more at http://www.ibiztraining.com/
The best sportswriters in the world are women (I have always said this). And the best in the world is none other than my girlfriend Ramona Shelburne, sports columnist for the Los Angeles Daily News. Read more about her at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ramona_Shelburne
There's a high standard in today's fashion world. And no one meets that standard better than Spooles, which provides customers with high-quality purses and other accessories that are both affordable and trendy. Get trendy!! Go to http://www.spooles.com/
There's a cowgirl inside every woman: Elusive, passionate, untamed (I wrote that myself!!). Elusive Cowgirl caters to the free spirit within you, priding themselves on a special line of high-quality products unique on its own yet tailored to fit your everyday style. Find your inner cowgirl: Visit http://www.elusivecowgirl.com/
Stephanie Friedberg. She’s a writer, she writes a blog about the art of writing, and she’s one of the few women on Earth who understand Major League Baseball’s "infield shift" concept. Read what she has to say at http://www.thewaterglass.blogspot.com/
There, I said it.
If we were all together in a room right now, and I asked how many of you have had to drive aimlessly around a parking lot until you could find a space, each one of you would have their hand raised high. It’s ridiculous. Finding a parking space sometimes is like navigating through a minefield of wired, hulking steel, with so many cars maneuvering around to find one or two empty spots. And let’s not forget how we scope out the people who appear to be walking to their cars, following behind them like the paparazzi follow Britney Spears as she puts her children on the roof of her SUV and then forgets where they are.
And that’s not even talking about the danger factor. The scariest drivers on Earth aren’t found on the 405 Freeway as they race to catch a flight at LAX. No, the scariest drivers are found at cramped parking lots, where everyone is driving at breakneck speeds in a confined space desperate to park somewhere, making hairpin turns and turning a blind eye to anyone and everyone in their path.
How many of you have almost been killed multiple times while in a busy parking lot? My current count is at 14.
And once we finally find a space – way in the back row, a five-minute walk from whatever location we’re trying to get to – we inevitably pass by the handicap spots, all empty, and all close by.
Beautiful, empty, close-by spaces.
And the man says you need a sticker to park in one.
It’s not right.
My mom disagrees with me. My mom – who along with myself had a crazy parking lot adventure while going to a Mother’s Day lunch last weekend – argued that the use of handicapped spaces by the non-handicapped would mean that those who were handicapped would be forced to park far away. She also said that parking far away and walking a few minutes is no big deal for healthy people, and that parking in a space not designated for you is unethical.
My thoughts:
Those who are handicapped would be forced to park far away. Not true. Handicapped spaces are never full. Ever. Know why? Because elderly people either a) no longer drive, or b) are too proud to use the handicap sticker. These are facts, people. I’m not taking away the privilege from somebody else. I’m putting the privilege to actual use. Isn’t it my right – nay, my duty – as an American to enjoy such liberties?
Parking far away and walking a few minutes to your destination is no big deal for healthy people. That’s not the point!! The point is that I shouldn’t have to walk far in the first place. If I wanted to walk far, I wouldn’t have driven to begin with. Walking far after driving defeats the entire purpose of the automotive age.
Parking in a space not designated for you is unethical. Tell me if you feel the same way after someone rams me with their Hummer because they drove 120 miles an hour toward what they thought was an open parking space, but was actually a space occupied by a small, compact car.
It’s bound to happen sooner or later. Law of averages.
I wish my grandparents were still alive so I could swipe their handicap-parking sticker.
Oh well.
I guess I’ll park in those "expectant mothers" parking spaces that are currently all the rage.
Those spaces use the honor system.
:-)
And now for this week’s:
SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE
In last week’s blog, I wrote about how Jennifer Aniston and Orlando Bloom were rumored to be an item, according to OK! Magazine. Well, since then I have gotten countless e-mails and text messages telling me how sooooooooo behind the times I am when it comes to the men in Jen’s life. Observe:
Nev, Orlando Bloom and Jennifer Aniston are sooooo over. Jennifer and John Mayer are an item now.
Nev, your news on Jen is sooooo last week. Jen and John is what’s happening today.
I thought Jennifer Aniston was dating John Mayer now?
OMG!!! Did Jen break up with John? Does that mean he’s single?!?
This tells me two things:
1) Jennifer Aniston is having commitment issues since her breakup with Brad Pitt. First, there was Vince Vaughn, then Orlando Bloom, then John Mayer, and I think there was a European model somewhere in there. Jenny is going through men like she went through hairstyles on Friends.
And 2) The folks who updated me on Jennifer Aniston’s personal life have no lives of their own.
Or they have boring and pointless jobs.
I still love you, though. :-)
(The more people who know about www.nevdogg.blogspot.com, the better a place the world will be.)
-----------
Hey, guess what? I'm trying to make a living writing blogs about the dumb things of everyday life. How am I doing this? With the help of the folks at iBizTraining.com, an online training resource that shows you how to run your own online business (Online Training, Online Business. My God, it fits!!). Find out more at http://www.ibiztraining.com/
The best sportswriters in the world are women (I have always said this). And the best in the world is none other than my girlfriend Ramona Shelburne, sports columnist for the Los Angeles Daily News. Read more about her at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ramona_Shelburne
There's a high standard in today's fashion world. And no one meets that standard better than Spooles, which provides customers with high-quality purses and other accessories that are both affordable and trendy. Get trendy!! Go to http://www.spooles.com/
There's a cowgirl inside every woman: Elusive, passionate, untamed (I wrote that myself!!). Elusive Cowgirl caters to the free spirit within you, priding themselves on a special line of high-quality products unique on its own yet tailored to fit your everyday style. Find your inner cowgirl: Visit http://www.elusivecowgirl.com/
Stephanie Friedberg. She’s a writer, she writes a blog about the art of writing, and she’s one of the few women on Earth who understand Major League Baseball’s "infield shift" concept. Read what she has to say at http://www.thewaterglass.blogspot.com/
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Catching Up On The News Of Today: Flipping Through An Issue of OK! Magazine: A Nevin Barich Blog Experience
Every couple of weeks, I head down to Reseda to see my good friends at Over The Rainbow Hairstyling, where I go to get my sides shaved and -- every eight weeks -- my hair cut (because lookin' good takes maintenance, people). A few days back, while waiting for Sylvia (the woman who has cut my hair since I was 7) to finish with a client, I looked over at the magazine rack and decided that now was a good time as any to catch up on current events.
With that in mind, here's what I found while flipping through an issue of OK! Magazine:
---Jennifer Aniston and Orlando Bloom. Reps for Jen say they're just good friends, but that isn't so, according to a source. Jen and O.B. were apparently seen being very affectionate during a relaxing (and steamy!!) beach weekend in Mexico. Does this mean Jen's finally over Vince Vaughn? Is Orlando the one? No one can say for sure, but -- according to the source -- Jen is happier than she's been in months.
(by the way: This article is also accompanied by a photo of Jen, Orlando and Courtney Cox sitting together in a booth at some club in Hollywood. Courtney and Jen are best friends, as we all know, but in this photo, Courtney is seen getting particularly close to Orlando, and Jen is looking on with that fake "I'm smiling because cameras are around but this is soooo not OK, so step off you stupid %&$%#@" smile that only a woman can give. As for Orlando? He's got this drunk-looking " What can I say? I'm Orlando Bloom and these things just happen because I'm Orlando Bloom" smirk on his face.)
---Speaking of Jennifer Aniston: She and Eva Longoria have apparently cleared the air after a nasty publicity stunt involving Jen's ex, Brad Pitt. In April 2005, shortly after Brad and Jen split, Eva wore a tight pink shirt which said "I'll have your baby, Brad" strewn across the front. "Jennifer found the whole thing to be very cruel and insensitive," according to a source, and Eva has apologized profusely ever since. And although Jen has reportedly accepted the apology, it was only recently that the two buried the hatchet at a charity event in Hollywood. "They're appeared to be no animosity between them whatsoever," according to a source.
Isn't that nice?
---Kim Cattrall is 51 and feeling sexier than ever. Kim -- best known for showing her breasts and having sex in every episode of Sex and the City -- says she's embraced her newfound sexuality, even though she says she has nothing in common with her SATC character Samantha Jones. "Kim wants to be considered sexy because she's Kim...."
(say it with me now)
..." according to a source.
---Speaking of Kim: Despite her age, she doesn't want to be considered a "cougar" or a "MILF." Rather, she simply wants to be viewed as an attractive woman who happens to be older.
She's dating a 28-year-old, by the way.
Not that this means she's perpetuating the stereotype or anything.
And finally:
---Explain something to me: How the hell did Matthew Broderick land Sarah Jessica Parker? SJP has been hot as hell since her "L.A. Story" days, but Matthew hasn't looked good since Ferris Bueller took the day off. In an article about the happily married couple, which asked how the pair always manages to look color-coordinated ("It's because Sarah helps picks out his clothes," according to a source) Sarah looks her usual attractive self while Matt looks like a history professor. He even had the requisite gray suit and graying of the temples. It's weird.
And just so you know: "They're more in love than ever."
According to a source.
And now for this week's:
SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE:
Arkansas residents Jim Bob Duggar and his wife Michelle are expecting their 18th child. Michelle is in her sixth week of pregnancy and the couple has named all their children with names that begin with the letter J: Joshua, Jana, John-David, Jill, Jessa, Jinger, Joseph, Josiah, Joy-Anna, Jeremiah, Jedidiah, Jason, James, Justin, Jackson, Johannah and Jennifer.
I'm guessing the 18th kid will be named Jo-Mama.
Or Jenga if it's a boy.
(Do a good deed for the day: Tell a friend about www.nevdogg.blogspot.com. You'll feel better in the morning.)
-----------
Hey, guess what? I'm trying to make a living writing blogs about the dumb things of everyday life. How am I doing this? With the help of the folks at iBizTraining.com, an online training resource that shows you how to run your own online business (Online Training, Online Business. My God, it fits!!). Find out more at http://www.ibiztraining.com/
The best sportswriters in the world are women (I have always said this). And the best in the world is none other than my girlfriend Ramona Shelburne, sports columnist for the Los Angeles Daily News. Read more about her at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ramona_Shelburne
There's a high standard in today's fashion world. And no one meets that standard better than Spooles, which provides customers with high-quality purses and other accessories that are both affordable and trendy. Get trendy!! Go to http://www.spooles.com/
There's a cowgirl inside every woman: Elusive, passionate, untamed (I wrote that myself!!). Elusive Cowgirl caters to the free spirit within you, priding themselves on a special line of high-quality products unique on its own yet tailored to fit your everyday style. Find your inner cowgirl: Visit http://www.elusivecowgirl.com/
Stephanie Friedberg. She’s a writer, she writes a blog about the art of writing, and she’s one of the few women on Earth who understand Major League Baseball’s "infield shift" concept. Read what she has to say at http://www.thewaterglass.blogspot.com/
With that in mind, here's what I found while flipping through an issue of OK! Magazine:
---Jennifer Aniston and Orlando Bloom. Reps for Jen say they're just good friends, but that isn't so, according to a source. Jen and O.B. were apparently seen being very affectionate during a relaxing (and steamy!!) beach weekend in Mexico. Does this mean Jen's finally over Vince Vaughn? Is Orlando the one? No one can say for sure, but -- according to the source -- Jen is happier than she's been in months.
(by the way: This article is also accompanied by a photo of Jen, Orlando and Courtney Cox sitting together in a booth at some club in Hollywood. Courtney and Jen are best friends, as we all know, but in this photo, Courtney is seen getting particularly close to Orlando, and Jen is looking on with that fake "I'm smiling because cameras are around but this is soooo not OK, so step off you stupid %&$%#@" smile that only a woman can give. As for Orlando? He's got this drunk-looking " What can I say? I'm Orlando Bloom and these things just happen because I'm Orlando Bloom" smirk on his face.)
---Speaking of Jennifer Aniston: She and Eva Longoria have apparently cleared the air after a nasty publicity stunt involving Jen's ex, Brad Pitt. In April 2005, shortly after Brad and Jen split, Eva wore a tight pink shirt which said "I'll have your baby, Brad" strewn across the front. "Jennifer found the whole thing to be very cruel and insensitive," according to a source, and Eva has apologized profusely ever since. And although Jen has reportedly accepted the apology, it was only recently that the two buried the hatchet at a charity event in Hollywood. "They're appeared to be no animosity between them whatsoever," according to a source.
Isn't that nice?
---Kim Cattrall is 51 and feeling sexier than ever. Kim -- best known for showing her breasts and having sex in every episode of Sex and the City -- says she's embraced her newfound sexuality, even though she says she has nothing in common with her SATC character Samantha Jones. "Kim wants to be considered sexy because she's Kim...."
(say it with me now)
..." according to a source.
---Speaking of Kim: Despite her age, she doesn't want to be considered a "cougar" or a "MILF." Rather, she simply wants to be viewed as an attractive woman who happens to be older.
She's dating a 28-year-old, by the way.
Not that this means she's perpetuating the stereotype or anything.
And finally:
---Explain something to me: How the hell did Matthew Broderick land Sarah Jessica Parker? SJP has been hot as hell since her "L.A. Story" days, but Matthew hasn't looked good since Ferris Bueller took the day off. In an article about the happily married couple, which asked how the pair always manages to look color-coordinated ("It's because Sarah helps picks out his clothes," according to a source) Sarah looks her usual attractive self while Matt looks like a history professor. He even had the requisite gray suit and graying of the temples. It's weird.
And just so you know: "They're more in love than ever."
According to a source.
And now for this week's:
SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE:
Arkansas residents Jim Bob Duggar and his wife Michelle are expecting their 18th child. Michelle is in her sixth week of pregnancy and the couple has named all their children with names that begin with the letter J: Joshua, Jana, John-David, Jill, Jessa, Jinger, Joseph, Josiah, Joy-Anna, Jeremiah, Jedidiah, Jason, James, Justin, Jackson, Johannah and Jennifer.
I'm guessing the 18th kid will be named Jo-Mama.
Or Jenga if it's a boy.
(Do a good deed for the day: Tell a friend about www.nevdogg.blogspot.com. You'll feel better in the morning.)
-----------
Hey, guess what? I'm trying to make a living writing blogs about the dumb things of everyday life. How am I doing this? With the help of the folks at iBizTraining.com, an online training resource that shows you how to run your own online business (Online Training, Online Business. My God, it fits!!). Find out more at http://www.ibiztraining.com/
The best sportswriters in the world are women (I have always said this). And the best in the world is none other than my girlfriend Ramona Shelburne, sports columnist for the Los Angeles Daily News. Read more about her at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ramona_Shelburne
There's a high standard in today's fashion world. And no one meets that standard better than Spooles, which provides customers with high-quality purses and other accessories that are both affordable and trendy. Get trendy!! Go to http://www.spooles.com/
There's a cowgirl inside every woman: Elusive, passionate, untamed (I wrote that myself!!). Elusive Cowgirl caters to the free spirit within you, priding themselves on a special line of high-quality products unique on its own yet tailored to fit your everyday style. Find your inner cowgirl: Visit http://www.elusivecowgirl.com/
Stephanie Friedberg. She’s a writer, she writes a blog about the art of writing, and she’s one of the few women on Earth who understand Major League Baseball’s "infield shift" concept. Read what she has to say at http://www.thewaterglass.blogspot.com/
Saturday, May 3, 2008
The Downfall Of An American Institution: The Peanut Butter-And-Jelly Sandwich: A Nevin Barich Blog Experience
I love peanut butter. I can literally eat an entire jar of it. If it wasn't so damn fattening, I'd have empty jars littered around my apartment, with me passed out against a wall, a peanut butter-laced spoon hanging from my mouth and a dopey, happy look on my face.
So needless to say, I am a fan of peanut butter-and-jelly sandwiches. And the only thing better than a peanut butter-and-jelly sandwich? When it's made by Mom.
This is a known fact that has spanned the generations. No peanut butter-and-jelly sandwich tastes better than when your mommy makes it for you. Only Mom can spread the peanut butter and jelly exactly how you like it. She doesn't even have to ask you. She just knows.
So last weekend, when I was over at my Mom's after picking her up from the Flyaway bus, I was thrilled at her offer to make me a PB and J.
Until...
"What the hell is that?" I asked.
In my mom's hand was a jar. A single jar. Featuring multiple colors.
"It's peanut butter and jelly mixed together," she said.
Now look, I'm a purist. I'm OK with change as as long as change is warranted. But when it ain't broke, don't fix it. That's my philosophy, and it's served me well through the years. And PB and J ain't broken.
"Why did you buy that instead of getting separate jars?" I asked my mom.
"It's easier this way," she replied.
Easier? When was it ever complicated? You buy some peanut butter, you buy some jelly, you spread the peanut butter, then the jelly, and it makes for a nice, happy meeting on the bread. Is this difficult?
And speaking of bread:
"What the *$#&^%* is that?!?!?" I exclaimed.
In my mom's hand was a loaf of some brown concoction with what appeared to be nuts on the crust.
"It's multi-grain bread," she said.
Good Lord. Enough was enough. First, you can't trouble yourself to mix the peanut and jelly yourself. And now you're using something other than white bread? Everyone knows that PB and J is only good on white bread. People may disagree about war, religion, and what to do about the rainforests, but white bread for a PB and J sandwich isn't up for debate.
"Don't you have any white bread?" I asked.
My mom sighed.
"Nevin," she said, "white bread has no nutritional value."
I hate this health-conscious society of ours.
But I ate the sandwich. With its "mix" and its "good for you" bread.
And I wasn't happy.
Two days later, I was at work and I decided to order a PB & J from the cafe in my building downstairs. But before I placed my order, I wanted to get the facts.
"Is your peanut butter and jelly in separate jars?" I inquired.
"Yes," I was told.
"And you have white bread?"
"Yes."
"And i can have my peanut butter-and-jelly sandwich on white bread?"
"Yes."
"And you won't lecture me about white bread's lack of nutritional value?"
(pause)
"White bread is bad for you?"
Perfect. We were ready to go.
Ten minutes later, I go downstairs, pick up my sandwich, take it back up to my desk and open the box.
The bread was toasted.
(sigh)
Peanut butter-and-jelly sandwiches.
Another simple pleasure.
Ruined.
And now for this week's:
SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE
I heard the following Starbucks ad on the radio the other day:
David is, like, the major of the store. He comes in every day, stays a few hours, jokes with us, talks with us. He...knows...everybody. And we're like, "Don't you work?" And he just laughs. But that's OK, because we like when our customers hang out with us.
That's right. Let's encourage people spending all day at Starbucks, drinking black coffee with fancy names, in cups with fancy names. God forbid they should get JOBS!!!
Ya know?
(I like attention. And the more people who know about this blog, the more attention I receive. So tell everyone you know about www.nevdogg.blogspot.com)
---------------------
Hey, guess what? I'm trying to make a living writing blogs about the dumb things of everyday life. How am I doing this? With the help of the folks at iBizTraining.com, an online training resource that shows you how to run your own online business (Online Training, Online Business. My God, it fits!!). Find out more at http://www.ibiztraining.com/
The best sportswriters in the world are women (I have always said this). And the best in the world is none other than my girlfriend Ramona Shelburne, sports columnist for the Los Angeles Daily News. Read more about her at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ramona_Shelburne
There's a high standard in today's fashion world. And no one meets that standard better than Spooles, which provides customers with high-quality purses and other accessories that are both affordable and trendy. Get trendy!! Go to http://www.spooles.com/
There's a cowgirl inside every woman: Elusive, passionate, untamed (I wrote that myself!!). Elusive Cowgirl caters to the free spirit within you, priding themselves on a special line of high-quality products unique on its own yet tailored to fit your everyday style. Find your inner cowgirl: Visit http://www.elusivecowgirl.com/
Stephanie Friedberg. She’s a writer, she writes a blog about the art of writing, and she’s one of the few women on Earth who understand Major League Baseball’s "infield shift" concept. Read what she has to say at http://www.thewaterglass.blogspot.com/
So needless to say, I am a fan of peanut butter-and-jelly sandwiches. And the only thing better than a peanut butter-and-jelly sandwich? When it's made by Mom.
This is a known fact that has spanned the generations. No peanut butter-and-jelly sandwich tastes better than when your mommy makes it for you. Only Mom can spread the peanut butter and jelly exactly how you like it. She doesn't even have to ask you. She just knows.
So last weekend, when I was over at my Mom's after picking her up from the Flyaway bus, I was thrilled at her offer to make me a PB and J.
Until...
"What the hell is that?" I asked.
In my mom's hand was a jar. A single jar. Featuring multiple colors.
"It's peanut butter and jelly mixed together," she said.
Now look, I'm a purist. I'm OK with change as as long as change is warranted. But when it ain't broke, don't fix it. That's my philosophy, and it's served me well through the years. And PB and J ain't broken.
"Why did you buy that instead of getting separate jars?" I asked my mom.
"It's easier this way," she replied.
Easier? When was it ever complicated? You buy some peanut butter, you buy some jelly, you spread the peanut butter, then the jelly, and it makes for a nice, happy meeting on the bread. Is this difficult?
And speaking of bread:
"What the *$#&^%* is that?!?!?" I exclaimed.
In my mom's hand was a loaf of some brown concoction with what appeared to be nuts on the crust.
"It's multi-grain bread," she said.
Good Lord. Enough was enough. First, you can't trouble yourself to mix the peanut and jelly yourself. And now you're using something other than white bread? Everyone knows that PB and J is only good on white bread. People may disagree about war, religion, and what to do about the rainforests, but white bread for a PB and J sandwich isn't up for debate.
"Don't you have any white bread?" I asked.
My mom sighed.
"Nevin," she said, "white bread has no nutritional value."
I hate this health-conscious society of ours.
But I ate the sandwich. With its "mix" and its "good for you" bread.
And I wasn't happy.
Two days later, I was at work and I decided to order a PB & J from the cafe in my building downstairs. But before I placed my order, I wanted to get the facts.
"Is your peanut butter and jelly in separate jars?" I inquired.
"Yes," I was told.
"And you have white bread?"
"Yes."
"And i can have my peanut butter-and-jelly sandwich on white bread?"
"Yes."
"And you won't lecture me about white bread's lack of nutritional value?"
(pause)
"White bread is bad for you?"
Perfect. We were ready to go.
Ten minutes later, I go downstairs, pick up my sandwich, take it back up to my desk and open the box.
The bread was toasted.
(sigh)
Peanut butter-and-jelly sandwiches.
Another simple pleasure.
Ruined.
And now for this week's:
SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE
I heard the following Starbucks ad on the radio the other day:
David is, like, the major of the store. He comes in every day, stays a few hours, jokes with us, talks with us. He...knows...everybody. And we're like, "Don't you work?" And he just laughs. But that's OK, because we like when our customers hang out with us.
That's right. Let's encourage people spending all day at Starbucks, drinking black coffee with fancy names, in cups with fancy names. God forbid they should get JOBS!!!
Ya know?
(I like attention. And the more people who know about this blog, the more attention I receive. So tell everyone you know about www.nevdogg.blogspot.com)
---------------------
Hey, guess what? I'm trying to make a living writing blogs about the dumb things of everyday life. How am I doing this? With the help of the folks at iBizTraining.com, an online training resource that shows you how to run your own online business (Online Training, Online Business. My God, it fits!!). Find out more at http://www.ibiztraining.com/
The best sportswriters in the world are women (I have always said this). And the best in the world is none other than my girlfriend Ramona Shelburne, sports columnist for the Los Angeles Daily News. Read more about her at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ramona_Shelburne
There's a high standard in today's fashion world. And no one meets that standard better than Spooles, which provides customers with high-quality purses and other accessories that are both affordable and trendy. Get trendy!! Go to http://www.spooles.com/
There's a cowgirl inside every woman: Elusive, passionate, untamed (I wrote that myself!!). Elusive Cowgirl caters to the free spirit within you, priding themselves on a special line of high-quality products unique on its own yet tailored to fit your everyday style. Find your inner cowgirl: Visit http://www.elusivecowgirl.com/
Stephanie Friedberg. She’s a writer, she writes a blog about the art of writing, and she’s one of the few women on Earth who understand Major League Baseball’s "infield shift" concept. Read what she has to say at http://www.thewaterglass.blogspot.com/
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