Saturday, January 29, 2011

A Man And His "The Pants": A Nevin Barich Blog Experience

This weekend, I went whale watching with some friends of mine over in Long Beach. It was an amazing experience, as we saw two gray whales up close playing with a school of dolphins for a good 30-40 minutes, splashing all about along the Pacific Ocean.

It was an amazing day, with good friends, good weather...

...and "The Pants."

"The Pants." Every man -- every worthwhile man -- has a pair. They could be jeans. They could be sweatpants. They could even technically be shorts. They're a pair of pants that withstand the test of time. You wear them everywhere, to everything, in every situation. They're comfortable, they're worn in, they make you happy.

It makes a man...a man.

I wore my "The Pants" to whale watching today. I wear them to whale watching. I wear them to Dodger Stadium. I where them to the movies. I wear them playing poker. I where them to sleep. I wear them watching TV. I've worn them to the gym on occasion. I wear them while eating.

And quite possibly, when the time comes, I'll be buried in them.

My "The Pants" are a pair of navy blue sweat pants, that are about two inches two short, complete with random pink paint stains that I honestly have no clue how they got there. They're unstylish, unsexy, and unflattering.

They're the greatest pants on Earth. :-)

I mean, I love them. They're like wearing warm, fluffy air. They're just awesome, awesome lower garment attire. And here's the thing: If someone else wore them, they wouldn't feel the same thing. To them, it would be just be pants. But that's the thing about "The Pants." They're special to just one person. Meant for just one person. There's a bond between "The Pants" and "The Man."

And how that bond forms is not easily explained. It can occur immediately. It can occur over time. You can buy "The Pants." "The Pants" can be given to you by someone else. Somebody could've owned "The Pants" first but it wasn't "The Pants" to them and they didn't earn "The Pants" status until "The Pants" became yours and were christened "The Pants."

As you can see, it can happen in a variety of ways.

But a man's relationship with "The Pants" is not unlike his relationship with a dog. Where the man goes, "The Pants" go. Faithfully. Truthfully. Unwaveringly.

"The Pants."

Man's other best friend.

:-)

And now for this week's:

SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE

Your legal system at work:

The fast-food chain took out full-page ads in at least nine major newspapers and launched a YouTube campaign featuring its president Friday to proclaim its taco filling is 88 percent beef.

A false-advertising lawsuit filed last week that caused an online stir alleges the company's filling doesn't have enough beef to be called that. The lawsuit seeks to make the company stop calling it "beef," and pay the suing law firm's bill.

Taco Bell trumpeted "Thank you for suing us. Here's the truth about our seasoned beef," in the ads in Friday's editions of the Wall Street Journal, USA Today and other papers.

The ads go on to say the rest of the filling is a mixture of spices and common food additives.

Personally, I love Taco Bell's common food additives.

They make me happy.

:-)

15 comments:

Mike said...

I have a pair of "The Pants". They're these pair of jeans I've had since college. Love them.

Michelle said...

LOL Oh God

Sean said...

Dude you be stylin' in yo pants

Jamie said...

Hey women have "The Pants" too you know! I have a pair of jeans from high school I will never get rid of.

Janet said...

My husband has a pair of pants like that and they're hideous. Honestly I just don't get what the thing about it is.

Melanie said...

Taco Bell is disgusting!!!!!!

Amber said...

I read about three sentences past the whale watching story before I thought to myself "Nev is talking about his sweat pants". LOL

Ramona said...

the saddest day of Nevin's week is laundry day, when he's separated from his pants for a few hours....

Ramona said...

The saddest day of Nevin's week isn't Monday, but laundry day, when he is separated with his pants for a few hours...

Cindy said...

Dude, I have bad news for you. Sweat pants are not pants. Stop calling them pants. Sweat pants are sweats. So your entire blog is null and void.

Cindy said...

Here comes another are-Cheetos-chips or are-Hot Pockets-fast-food discussions. Nev, sweat pants are not pants. They are sweats. Sweats are for working out and lounging around the house. And pants are pants.

Nev said...

Blasphemy Cindy!! Blasphemy!!

Cindy said...

Early in our marriage, Chris attempted to wear sweats socially. We reached an understanding. Perhaps it's time for Ramona to have "the talk" with you.

Nev said...

Our generation is more progressive, Cindy. Wives allow sweats these days. :-)

Jeanette said...

You haven't mentioned the "sweatshirt" Mine is stretched out so it isnt'tight around my arms (yuck!!!), stretched out so it doesn't cling to my no longer-flat tummy, kitten-soft, and washed enough times to have lost enough density so I'm warm but not hot. It's perfect for TV, klunking around the house AND sleeping. And yet, and yet... it's not so discolored and raggedy so I can still wear it outside for local errands. I think I should name my friend the sweater...Patricia.