Babysitting My Two Little Girl Cousins (The New Adventures): A Nevin Barich Blog Experience

Last July, I wrote about how I babysat my two little-girl cousins -- 9-year-old Cora and 4-year-old Aya -- the first time I was ever asked to babysit girls. All in all, despite a few hiccups, that adventure was a success. The kids were happy, there were no trips to the emergency room, and my house and its belongings more or less stayed in one piece.

So when the girls came to town again this week and their father Jesse asked me if I would mind donning the babysitting hat for his daughters once more, I quickly said yes. After all, I figured, I now had some girl-babysitting experience to call on. The first time it was the great unknown, but this time around I knew the lay of the land a little bit better.

Right?

Except there were a couple of new challenges this time around:

1) I would be babysitting the girls on not one, but two separate occasions -- on back-to-back days -- with one of those days being another sleepover at my house.

And 2) This time, I had to take the girls to public places -- e.g., restaurants. So if one of them threw a tantrum because their macaroni and cheese was too hot, or threw up on the floor, or starting knocking on the heads of the people in the booth next to us, then when the patrons in the restaurant started looking to see what kind of idiotic baboon of an adult would allow these children to behave in such barbaric fashion, they would be looking straight at me.

How'd it go? Take a walk with me. Each babysitting day had its own story...

-----------

IWANNAGOTOIHOP!!!!!!

That was the battle cry of Aya -- the 4-year-old -- when I came to get her and Cora on Thursday for babysitting duty No. 1. My first task was to take the girls out to eat, and both of them wanted to visit my good friends at the International House Of Pancakes. And it was while we were loading the kids into my car that their dad Jesse gave me the following parting words:

Nev, I told the girls they can order whatever they want.

OK, now clearly Jesse did not think this thing through. It's not the "the girl can order whatever they want" part that was necessarily idiotic. It was the fact that the adult who would be supervising them this afternoon -- me -- is the complete opposite of what one would call "health conscious." I love cold pizza for breakfast. Diet coke is my coffee. Extra cheese and mayo are common staples on my burgers.

He might as well have told a heroin addict that he was allowing his kids to "sample a little taste if they want to."

But luckily for me, Cora and Aya are surprisingly level-headed for their age. When we went to IHOP, they simply ordered pancakes -- blueberry for Cora, and one of those make-a-face ones for Aya. All was well...

...until each of them got the 5 types of syrup on our table, poured it all over their plates, and started licking the syrup with their tongues like dogs.

And it was here that I asked myself:

Am I setting a good example?

But then I looked around.

No dirty looks from restaurant patrons.

And happy faces on the girls.

No permanent damage done. :-)

......

I AM NOT WATCHING THE LION KING AGAIN!!!!!!!

It was during babysitting duty No. 2 on Friday that things got choppy. See, Aya loves The Lion King. She brought the book with her and I've literally read it to her six times in a four-hour span. And with the girls staying at my place for the night, Aya made me promise that we could watch the movie as well. "Fine with me," I thought. "It's a good movie and it will keep her relatively entertained for 90 minutes."

But then a problem occurred.

"I am not watching The Lion King again. End of discussion," Cora declared.

And I'm gonna tell you something: When Cora makes up her mind, she is a stone. Unflappable. The girl simply would not budge. I tried everything.

I offered to play games with her while the movie played simultaneously in the background.

No.

I tried to bribe her with Baskin Robbins.

No.

Even her mom got on the phone and tried to convince her daughter.

No.

Nothing worked. And then, Cora made an offer unlike any other...

Hey Nev, do you have video games?

And a deal with the devil was suddenly on the table.

See, here's the thing. Cora has never played video games before. And I knew she wanted to play video games. And I knew her dad would kill me -- very very slowly -- if I allowed her to play video games.

But as I looked onto my other shoulder, onto evil-conscious Nev...

...putting Cora in front my Playstation 2 would solve this problem. Cora plays, me and Aya watch The Lion King, and everybody's happy.

I almost did it. So help me God, I was this close. This Lion King argument went on for three f*****king hours. I actually asked myself: "What's the worst that could happen if I let Cora play Grand Theft Auto? Sure, she may pick up some colorful new phrases like 'Move, bitch' and 'Cap in yo ass' but by the time her parents find out, they'll be several hundred miles away and the problems I've caused will be theirs."

A sweet sweet offer, but I ultimately said no.

"Sorry Cora, my Playstation 2 is busted," I replied.

She sighed. I sighed. Aya waved The Lion King DVD around us for all to see.

Eventually, after much deliberation, discussions, yelling, screaming, crying and fighting, we all ended up watching Bolt.

Aya was happy.

Cora rolled her eyes once or twice but said no more.

And I went on my laptop to research vasectomy procedures.

:-)

And now for this week's:

SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE

A Bill and Ted 3????

EXCELLENT!!!!!!

:-)