Friday, May 29, 2009

The Things We Keep In the Trunks Of Our Cars: A Nevin Barich Blog Experience

I'm not homeless. I live in a roomy one-bedroom apartment with my fiancee Ramona, complete with a kitchen, living room, running water, walls, shelves and central air. But if you looked at what I had in the trunk of my car, one might think that I spent my nights sleeping in my backseat, trying to huddle under wadded-up newspaper to keep warm.

At some point in our society, the trunks of our cars became more than just the place where we put our jumper cables and stored dead bodies (in certain circles). They also became an extension of our closets. Today's America has a need for more space and our homes, regardless of size, just aren't big enough to accommodate.

Enter the trunks of our cars. :-)

The trunks of our cars have become a place where we store our crap -- some of it needed, most of it useless -- when we've run out of space at home and we refuse to part with our possessions. So we put this stuff in our trunk and (literally) lug it around with us across our daily lives. Somewhere along the line, we became a pack of traveling herds, substituting camels for automobiles.

And again: Some of this stuff is needed. But most of it, quite frankly, should've been tossed long ago.

The useful stuff currently residing in my trunk:


Propel Fitness Water

Toilet Paper

Paper Towels

The useless crap currently residing in my trunk:

4 TV trays

2 lawn chairs

2 deflated basketballs

Baseball glove


Gift-wrapping paper (and I don't wrap)

Random plastic bags

A bucket (I have no idea where it came from)

A wide variety of broken pens

And an empty box that used to contain the laptop I purchased nearly four years ago

But even as I document the useless items in my trunk, am I going to get rid of this stuff? No. Know why? Because I'm just going to replace it with more useless items!! It will just be a vicious cycle that never, ever ends. So for me personally: I'm going to keep my deflated basketballs exactly where they are.

Because you never know.

I may drive by a park one day.

It may have a basketball court.

I may have the urge to stop and take out my ball.

Take a shot.

Watch the ball hit the ground and not move.

(Because it has no air in it).

Go back to my trunk.

Take out a lawn chair.


And ponder over what just occurred.


It could happen.


And now for this week's:


Have you ever watched the Scripps National Spelling Bee? That thing is seriously the most insane thing in this world. How do they spell these words? Laodicean? Antonomasia? Bouquiniste? It's crazy!! These kids either work their tails off for months practicing these words, or...

They're juicin'.

I vote for B.

Because no one can spell apodyterium or geusioleptic without synthetic means. I mean, it's just not possible.

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